earth dayEarth Day is almost upon us, people. Friday, April 22, the holiday will be here, ready to judge your every move.

"Oh, you're leaving the water on while you're brushing your teeth? Interesting." "Hey, look at that, you left a light on for your dog while you were at work. How nice ... for the electric company." "Well, what do you know, you bathed using only bottles of Evian this morning, and didn't recycle them afterwards. Classy."

No, seriously, Earth Day is hard-core. Not only is it a day for us all to reflect on what awful human beings we are, because no matter how many "natural" household cleaners we use, nothing will be as good as Windex; it's also a day for us to compare ourselves to other, more eco-conscious folk, because Guinness World Records is celebrating by shoving their achievements in our faces! Awesome!

Ready to feel bad about your extra-long shower and refusal to use dish cloths instead of paper towels? Read 'em and weep, suckers:

  • Most Bottles Recycled by a Dog. A Labrador named Tubby (aw!) has helped recycle an estimated 26,000 plastic bottles over the past six years by collecting them on his daily walks, crushing them, and passing them to his owner. My dog tried to eat my husband's underwear from the laundry basket last night.
  • Largest Sculpture of Plastic Bags. The largest sculpture made of plastic bags is made of 36,700 of them in the shape of a globe. And it's in Los Angeles. Guess the people aren't the only plastic things there! Ba dum ching!
  • Most Trees Planted in an Hour by a Team. A team of 100 people planted 26,422 trees at a park in England on December 5, 2009. If memory serves me correctly, I was seeing New Moon that day. Which is, like, way more fun than planting trees.
  • Largest Collection of Clothes to Recycle. On August 12, 2009 in Washington, D.C., National Geographic Kids magazine announced that it had collected 33,088 pairs of jeans for recycling through its denim drive event. All the denim was donated to the organization COTTON. Well, la di freaking da! I think I'm going to hold a jeggings drive next year, how do ya like that?
  • Most Steel Cans Collected in One Month. Collect-a-Can in South Africa collected 2,656,284 cans, weighing over 182,827 pounds. It was achieved between October 1-31, 2010. My guess is there were some pretty awesome robot costumes that year for Halloween.
  • Greenest City, ­ Masdar City in Abu Dhabi, UAE. It is the world's first city designed to be zero-carbon and zero-waste. All of its power is generated from renewable resources, and all waste material is recycled. Damn! Sounds just like where I live -- NYC, baby!

What do you think of Earth Day? How will you celebrate?

 

Image via LollyKnit/Flickr