Gilbert Gottfried is officially off the hook. No one was laughing at his ridiculous "jokes" on the devastation in Japan. But in an article Ann Coulter dubbed "A Glowing Report on Radiation," we've finally found something to laugh about.
Please, be sitting down before you read on. And swallow all drinks, lest they spray out your nose. Says Coulter:
With the terrible earthquake and resulting tsunami that have devastated Japan, the only good news is that anyone exposed to excess radiation from the nuclear power plants is now probably much less likely to get cancer.
I don't know about the rest of the (sane?) Americans, but if I didn't laugh at that, I would cry hysterically. Because she's technically right.
If you are dead from acute radiation syndrome -- like the people present at the Chernobyl radiation meltdown -- your chances of developing cancer down the road are 0. That's a better rate than you get by quitting smoking, having your breasts lopped off at 21, or eating organic veggies.
Of course, everywhere else she's flat-out wrong. But hey, I said I laughed so I didn't cry, right?
Coulter has drummed up a bunch of random scientific facts -- she even quoted The New York Times -- and thrown them together to come up with what she claims is evidence that radiation is a "cancer vaccine" of sorts. But her best evidence is that Chernobyl is only "directly" linked to 31 deaths, in other words, the people who died immediately of acute radiation syndrome (and hence couldn't develop cancer). Of course Coulter quickly glossed over a 2006 report of the UN Chernobyl Forum's 'Health' Expert Group that found a large proportion of child thyroid cancer fatalities to radiation.
Hey, as long as they were just a few dead kids, right Ann? And, eh, cancer that people survived doesn't seem to count to Coulter either -- it doesn't make for compelling copy. Like say the Japanese women who were children during the time of the Nagaski and Hiroshima nuclear bombs and are now older women who have had to fight breast cancer at significantly higher rates than women in other countries who were never exposed to the fallout of nuclear warfare?
And here's where you know she's totally gone off the rails. The conservative to beat all conservatives can't even get Bill O'Reilly to agree with her:
So what do you think? Has Ann Coulter finally lost it? Is anyone still listening to her?
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