Evan Emory Kiddie Porn Video Wasn't His Dumbest Move

handcuffsI can't believe I'm about to say I feel sorry for a pedophile. But Evan Emory is just plumb stupid. The 21-year-old charged with "manufacturing child pornography" wants to go to jail for his offense because it will make his nightmare go away.

See what we mean about plumb stupid? The problem is Emory, an aspiring singer, took video of himself singing to a bunch of first graders at a Michigan school, then he edited video of himself singing a graphically sexual song, putting the two together. When the end result showed up on YouTube, it looked like Emory was getting his jollies off in front of the kids of the elementary school in Ravenna. Although the kids were never technically involved or harmed, he was charged with a felony that could carry a 20-year sentence and force him to register as a sex offender.


What he did was stupid and crude, illegal even, but minor enough that his lawyer has worked the deal down big time. He's proven Emory is a moron, but not a child molester -- he never actually harmed the kids. He won't even have to register as a sex offender now. And the lawyer, Terry Nolan, doesn't think Emory needs jail for being an idiot.

But here's the problem. Emory isn't listening to Nolan. He says he wants to make amends and make the whole thing just go away.

What a guy! What a citizen! What an idiot!

He has heard what happens to criminals who hurt kids in prison, right? Although exact statistics are slim, prisoners' rights activists have dubbed the life of any criminal who acted against a minor in a sexual manner "a living hell." We can call up just about any episode of Law and Order: SVU to illustrate. Emory may not have to register as a sex offender, and he may not have actually diddled a kid, but the rest of the prison population isn't going to care about the dirty details (one thing corrections officers have always told me: every prisoner claims he's innocent -- they won't believe him no matter what he says).

If Evan Emory thinks his nightmare is bad now, he's going to find out just how dark it can get inside.

So consider his crime -- do you think he should go to jail?


Image via Mark Coggins/Flickr

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