A San Diego grandmother is sitting in jail on charges of child abuse. Last Saturday, she allegedly flung her 2-year-old grandson to the ground and slapped him. The child received minor abrasions on his back and head, and was examined at Rady Children’s Hospital.
Kelly Daffara was traveling by bus with her toddler grandson to visit a relative. When they got off the bus in a busy part of San Diego, the little boy ran away from her.
Daffara told police she yelled at him to come back, but he ignored her.
That was when Daffara allegedly screamed at him, went after him, picked him up, and slammed him down onto his back on the pavement. Witnesses told police Daffara slapped the boy once or twice.
The police reported that Daffara admitted to losing control.
Her reaction might have been extreme, but how many of us haven’t lost our minds when our children darted away from us near the street? Kids, especially adventuresome toddlers, are hit and killed by moving vehicles all the time.
Would Daffara be in prison for neglect if her grandson had darted into traffic and been killed when a car hit him? I know that I have had to check my toddler’s shoulder sockets after she ran off in a parking lot and I snatched her violently back. She even got a spanking, because I want her to learn that running off in a parking lot or road is extremely dangerous.
I didn’t witness the incident, so I have no way of knowing how forceful Daffara actually was with her grandson. I just know that I would rather be the mean mommy that overreacted when her kid darted off into the street than the mommy burying her child.
As parents (and grandparents), we sometimes have to make lesser-of-two-evils decisions. Do I normally freak out and punish my child for doing something that she doesn’t know she isn’t supposed to be doing? No. But when her life is at stake, I will do what is necessary to preserve it.
Image via JOPHIALsmiles/Flickr
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Comments 73
I agree with Julia! IMO it is NEVER okay to HIT a child or any other human!
Isn't hitting each other what toddlers get in trouble for? As Adults we all should be smarter than a toddler and know how to teach and discipline without hitting! And if I had seen anyone doing what is told in the OP I would of called CPS/DHR too! Shame on that Grandmother! I sure hope the Mother didn't bail her out!!
I have to agree with the ones that say slamming him down is not acceptable. I have screamed at my kids, and yanked them back as well. Slamming them down is a whole different story.
Slamming a child onto the pavement and slapping them is abusive. She basically saved him from harm, then harmed him herself. My daughter does things that scare me sh*tless, but I would never strike her.
OMG...like a few here said...YOU WERE NOT THERE...you don't have any idea what really happened. So just take a chill pill. And btw...the kid deserved a good slap on his butt. Grandma does not need to be in jail for bs like this.
And on another note - if I see my neighbor run onto the street and would be in danger of getting hit by a car I would also YANK his sorry a$$ back, taking a chance he might hit his head on the ground. At least I wouldn't have to live with the guilt if he woul dget killed or seriously hurt.
Seriously? I have teens and have been around small children all my life -- this is nuts - unless you think the witness is lying - this is the account from your link:
The witness stated that, "It was just very horrible. It was really horrible. I can't believe people would do that to a little boy. She picked the little boy by his arm, and she flung him, and he flew about 2 feet."
2 feet! And you think you need to have been there to figure out that she used excessive force??!!
For those of you fools who are saying "you weren't there" or "take a chill pill"....read this story again and what the grandma said. The child ignored her, that is when the slamming occurred! I seriously question people who think this was ok...slamming really ok????? It also says nothing about a car coming at him or missing him, he just ran off to where, a parking lot? She even admitted to loosing control....no we weren't there...read the article people, witnesses said "she slammed him on the ground THEN picked him up, slapped him SEVERAL times". No lie, if I saw that happen, I would have laid her out. One witnesses was in tears because of what she saw, don't think it was a little scary thing for grandma, it was a pissed off thing, so she is gonna teach that kid a lesson! This lady is a freak, I know abuse from protecting and this sounds like abuse to me. Hopefully she learned her lesson and thinks before freaking like this.
"Daffara told police she yelled at him to come back, but he ignored her.
That was when Daffara allegedly screamed at him, went after him, picked him up, and slammed him down onto his back on the pavement. Witnesses told police Daffara slapped the boy once or twice."
Personally, I have "felt" like I was losing control but being an adult I roped it in and didn't wring my child's neck (I have 4). I empathize with the grandmother but cannot condone her actions. That being said - I have been in similar situation as the WITNESS and handled it completely differently. I witnessed a mom of 4 screaming at her children in a store because they were misbehaving and instead of treating the mom like the demon some would portray her as I stepped in, offered to keep an eye on them while she took a step back to cool down. We were near a snack stand at the store so I suggested she get a soda and walk back. She did and came back in tears and hugged and kissed her children. She felt horrible for her actions. She wasn't an abusive mom - just pushed to her limits and needed a 10 second breather. Should I have called the cops?
It was one thing to get him out of harm's way. That's totally understandable. I can even see a whack on the ass and a reprimand. Anything more than that, is abuse.
.. I once had to yank DD by her ponytail at a parking lot. She ran from me the minute I put her on the ground, was running between my car and another car towards the "corridor" and a car was approaching. She did get spanked after that.