Creepy Monitor Lizard or Monster Snowstorm: Which Would You Prefer in Your Yard?

Jeanne Sager

monitor lizardAmericans getting socked by snow today, stop complaining. At least you don't have a 5-foot-long monitor lizard wandering your neighborhood. Make that a carnivorous lizard with a sharp tail and claws. And I mentioned it's 5 feet long, right? FIVE FEET!

Traditionally a resident of western and central Africa, the monitor lizard was captured by animal officials in sunny residential Riverside, California this week. They had to use the catch pole usually reserved for bringing in vicious dogs to catch the thing. Which doesn't sound all that bad, right?

If they can corral it like your garden variety pitbull, it's got to be pretty docile, right? That's what I thought. Until I hit YouTube. Check out this monitor lizard taking on a 1/2-ton mama crocodile:

Mama is P-O'd, and that lizard just totally showed her who is boss. And if that didn't give you nightmares, how about this little tidbit from the Honolulu Zoo?

Monitors tend to swallow their prey whole, like snakes. Monitors are daytime lizards and most species actively search for food. Some species eat carrion, dead and decaying flesh, giant land snails, grasshoppers, beetles, whip scorpions, crocodile, and birds; eggs, crabs, fish, other lizards, snakes, nestling birds, shrews, and squirrels.

Dead and decaying flesh? Scorpions? Crocodiles? This thing is totally badass. And it does all that while only reaching about 5 feet long -- the length of that creeper wandering the Riverside condo association, just checking out the goods.

Cali, I thought you had it bad with all that rain and mud late last year. But I promptly forgot your troubles when the temperatures dropped below 0 here in the northeast, and they started warning we'd have yet another round of snow days with the kids at home. I got selfish. I'd like to extend my deepest apologies. You've got a Godzilla on your hands, and he's a mean mo-fo.

Yoohoo, Mother Nature? I'm sorry. I'll take as many snow days as you want to send. Just keep that thing away from me. Which would you rather have in YOUR yard?


Image via YouTube

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