Senator Menendez & His Global Warming Fantasy

Jenny Erikson
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Jenny Erikson
Jenny Erikson
Christmas 2010 has come and gone, and if your kids are anything like my precocious seven-year-old, they’re playing with their new toys, taking stock of their inventory, and measuring it against the wish list they sent to Santa earlier this month. Let’s face it; Jolly Old Saint Nick is rarely able to completely fulfill the fantasy of every child that pens him a letter -- especially when the kid asks for a driver’s license. 

Last week, Senator Robert Menendez (D-NJ) wrote an open letter to the mythical North Polian, asking him to consider relocating to New Jersey when the polar ice caps melt due to man-caused global warming.

I am writing out of concern, because you may have to move from the North Pole due to the dramatic melting of Arctic sea ice. 

I want you to know that if you want to relocate to the beautiful state of New Jersey, I would be proud to assist you. But given the climate you are accustomed to, I will understand if you would like to relocate to the South Pole. Just be sure not to move to the Antarctic Peninsula or West Antarctic ice sheet, areas that are also experiencing rapid ice melt.

It’s a kitschy, fun letter, and as someone that often employs humor in her political writing, I wish I’d thought of it first. But the entire premise is completely off base. Senator Menendez claims, “Scientists overwhelmingly agree that polar ice is melting because of greenhouse gas pollution,” therefore poor Santa will be out of a home soon.

Scientists do not agree that polar ice is melting, regardless of the cause. It’s almost laughable to make such claims in the face of record cold and unexpected blizzards. The only thing that has been agreed upon in this whole ‘global warming’ business is that scientists and politicians have fudged the numbers for their own political or financial gain.

However, let’s assume for a moment that global warming is actually happening … is that necessarily a bad thing for Santa Claus? He’s been forced to live in secrecy at the North Pole for hundreds of years; maybe he’d like to live famously in New Jersey. He could sit on the White House Council for Community Solutions with fellow New Jerseylicious rock star Jon Bon Jovi, or maybe even hang out with Snooki to confirm her entry on the ‘naughty’ list.

My wish list to Senator Menendez is short and simple: Please use your time and energy addressing real issues like our economy. Your resources are ill used writing silly letters to a non-existent person about questionable and unsettled arguments.

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