We all like to think of ourselves as patriotic. We love our country, warts and all, and we prove it by voting and moaning about taxes and eating red and blue Jell-O molds on the Fourth of July.
But there's the average American, and then there are the true patriots. They know the name of every governor, and they can recite the Constitution by heart.
Maybe they trace their lineage back to the Mayflower. Maybe they were just well trained by their immigrant parents. Either way, they bleed red, white, and blue, and now you have to buy them holiday gifts.
Here's a start on the holiday gift list for the true patriot:
Star Spangled Banner Parchment $4.95 at Liberty Bell Shop
Every god-fearing American has a spare copy of the Constitution somewhere. But how many people are patriotic enough to have a copy of the national anthem as it looked when it was scrawled by Francis Scott Key himself?
American Table Topics $25 at Table Topics
So they think they're a true blue American? Put them through their paces with this box of conversation starters that will let them expound on their favorite bits of this fair country. There are 135 questions in all, so place your bets on how long it will take them to traverse from sea to shining sea without leaving the dinner table.
Long May She Wave: A Graphic History of the American Flag $1.99 (used) at Barnes & Noble
It's nine years old, but Kit Hinrichs' comprehensive history of what's happened to the American flag since the days of Betsy Ross will keep up through its placement on album covers and wrapped around pens, which will let your patriot take turns being enraptured and enraged at Old Glory's fate.
How to Be a Revolutionary War Soldier $5.95 at Amazon
Just because he (or she) grew up doesn't mean he has to give up the childhood passions. This book lets him know if he's got what it takes to fight the Brits and make sure America is the land of the free and home of the (slightly balding) brave.
Heroes in History Kits $11.99 at Buy Costumes
You never know when your patriot will be called on to display their expertise at a school or local festival. Outfit them as their favorite president -- Washington or Lincoln -- or Uncle Sam himself, and they'll be ready on a moment's notice to fulfill their patriotic duty.
What's on your list for your favorite patriot?