So now it's been said Osama bin Laden has a nice little house in northwestern Pakistan. Not a cave, not dead, not huddling in a corner. He's got walls, presumably windows, and is well enough to send messages about reducing our carbon footprint. My question is this: If we know he's living in a house in northwestern Pakistan, WHY ISN'T HE DEAD YET???
This is one of those things, as an American, as a former New Yorker, that I just cannot wrap my head around. How many billions have been spent on the war on terror and we don't have that a-hole in our cross-hairs yet?
I mean, if you had told me any of the following things would have happened in the past nine years, and yet Osama bin Laden still lives outside of captivity, I never would have believed you.
- The total proliferation of something called "social networking." I bet Osama bin Laden is on Facebook. Has anyone checked?
- Jennifer Aniston still doesn't have a husband or baby.
- In spite of the opposite trend in 2001, cell phones are actually getting bigger -- the most coveted has the largest screen and toddlers can even use it.
- Lady Gaga.
- Low-lifes that hang around the Jersey Shore trying to get lit and laid are now making millions of dollars.
I wish I could send this list back to my 2001 self, just for the shock and awe.
Yes, I know there are other terrorists just waiting to step into Osama bin Laden's shoes. I know we've captured, killed, or sent packing various horrifying people as a result of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. But we need this guy to be gone. It's embarrassing. He killed thousands of innocent people in the worst terrorist attack we've ever seen on U.S. soil. Osama bin Laden should not be living in a house in Pakistan, or any other god forsaken place. He's probably got a better wireless connection than I do, for Pete's sake. And he's probably opening a Twitter account right as we speak.
Why can't we catch this guy?
Image via Let Ideas Compete/Flickr