'Dude You Have No Quran' Is the New American Ideal

Jacob Isom Koran thiefJacob Isom is an unlikely hero of American ideals.

He's a skateboarder with a rattail who told Gawker he wants to be featured in High Times some day.

But this defender of the Constitution and all that makes America good is the only guy who had the chutzpah to grab a Quran straight out of the hands of a nut intent on burning it and run away.


The Amarillo Globe News reports other protesters tried to stop David Grisham's Quran burning by putting their hands on his grill and boosting his lighter.

But 23-year-old Isom is the one who grabbed the book and ran away from the director of Repent Amarillo, a Texas group that proclaims it's there to deter promiscuity, homosexuality, and all that jazz.

Hey, it's hard to be a Christian extremist when you don't have a holy book to light on fire. Grisham is a nuclear plant guard by day, but he was no match for Isom the pizza place worker with freedom of religion riding shotgun in his parade.

Isom handed the book over to the head of a local Islamic center and called it a day. The burning never happened. The group sometimes called the Texas Taliban had been thwarted by a scrawny guy with a skateboard.

Score one for the good guys. Er, guy?

And who better than a 20-something to turn an example of the worst in America into old-fashioned American entrepreneurial spirit?

Isom is now selling Dude You Have No Quran shirts in honor of the words he yelled as he ran into the fray (see above). For just $15, you can be a hero too.

Or you can use the money to buy a Quran for your local library -- so anyone can read it if they have questions. If you're so inclined, buy a Bible too. It's all in the name of the Constitution.

If they ask why you're doing it, it's pretty simple -- dude, you have no Quran!

Will this be our new fight song?


Image via Mutumbo

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