Thank goodness Playboy centerfold Tiffany Livingston isn't a blonde. If she were, it would have been virtually impossible for me to resist making this entire post one long string of dumb blonde airplane jokes.
Because, really, how could I not? Look at what I would have had to work with: 21-year-old bombshell, Playboy Bunny, 400,000-pound moving aircraft, JetBlue! Yup, the site of the Steven Slater stunt. See, everything is there, except the hair color.
Livingston, who recently graced the cover of Playboy's new VIP launch in Singapore and is a member of Team Brunette, was recently detained for reports she tried to open an airplane's emergency exit door. Not during a photo shoot wearing nothing but a navy blue thong and a pilot's hat, but INFLIGHT!! While the plane was FLYING!!
The funny thing about this story, besides the vision of this eye candy trying to open the door of an aircraft 10,000 feet above the earth, is the fact that she didn't. If you read the fine print of all the stories out there talking about her pulling a Steven Slater, you'll discover that this is not what investigators believe happened at all.
What did? I'll tell you ... but first a joke ...
Q. If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first?
A. The brunette -- because the blonde would stop for directions.
If you believe the passengers, Livingston bolted out of her seat on the flight from Orlando to Newark, New Jersey, yesterday, and grabbed for the latch, tugging furiously to open it while flight attendants tried to restrain her.
If you believe the federal investigators who detained and questioned Livingston after the incident, she had an anxiety attack, and grabbed the door handle to try to steady herself. It's a thing she's experienced before and usually takes medication to deal with, but this time she forgot it. You don't have to be blonde to do that.
Q. What is the difference between a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Federal investigators released Livingston after questioning, no charges were filed, and everyone got home safe and sound. And that's the end of the story. But not the end of the jokes ...
Q. What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
A. Artificial intelligence.