Summer's Eve and Woman's Day want to help you get a raise. The douche brand ran a full-page ad in the October issue of the women's magazine (page 50) offering advice on how you can make more money at work.
The very first step? Water your lady garden.
The ad reads, "Confidence at Work: How to Ask for a Raise" and lists 8 "helpful" tips. Here's number one:
That's really good advice -- especially if number 2 on your list is to sleep your way to the top. In which case, you should probably think about investing in some really nice panties and maybe a little vajazzling here or vatooing there. Because -- like Summer's Eve, its parent company Fleet Laboratories, and Woman's Day -- we all know that a woman's worth is in her vagina. Or to be more specific, her very clean vagina.
Just like the secret to a guy's career success is clean balls.
Glenn Beck? Clean balls. Bill Gates? Sparkling. President Obama, George Clooney, The Situation? They've obviously all got clean balls too.
Can't you just see the ad in Men's Health now:
"Tired of getting shot down for that raise or promotion? Scrotum Scrubber has the secret to your success: Clean balls. That's right, tomorrow morning when you wake up, give the boys a good, long soapy scrubbing instead of the usual quick splash. Then, march into your boss's office and ... "
Things aren't looking so good for Summer's Eve, not least because many docs say douching is a no-no. Though to be fair, the company is trying super hard to make it up to us as per this comment on an Ad Week blog post:
"Hi I am Angela Bryant, Summer’s Eve Brand Manager. I would like to first of all apologize if this ad in anyway has offended anyone. We are taking immediate next steps to remove the ad from circulation. We want you to know that Fleet Laboratories and the Summer’s Eve brand have the utmost respect for women. While we understand how some may come to an alternative conclusion regarding our recent ad, that was never our intention. Thank you."
Wow, Angela -- brand manager? Good for you, hon. That Summer's Eve stuff must really work.
Do you accept Summer's Eve apology?
Going to baseball games
Riding bike rides in the nice weather
Playing outside after work/school
Going for walks outside