Hurricane Danielle Headed for U.S.?

Tropical Storm Danielle is gearing up to become Hurricane Danielle as she gains strength in the Atlantic Ocean. Thunderstorms are gathering in the tropical storm, and Danielle is predicated to become a hurricane by this evening.

Yes, I'm wondering if the people who choose names for the hurricanes watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey, too.

The Weather Channel isn't predicting any danger for a land mass at this time, of course. Danielle can be wildly unpredictable. She's currently swirling near the eastern and central open waters of the Atlantic Ocean and is expected to turn northwest.

Hopefully Hurricane Danielle will remain out to sea, and far away from anyone she could permanently damage. If only Danielle Staub would follow suit.

But let's say Hurricane Danielle inexplicably travels up the Eastern seaboard and lands at the New Jersey shore. How much damage could befall the region? If the hurricane is anything like its namesake, this is what I see happening when Hurricane Danielle makes landfall.

• Massive destruction of teenage girls' senses of security and self-esteem in a five-mile radius.
• Mass release of convicted felons across Jersey.
• A Botox shortage in the greater Northeast.

Let's all cross our fingers that this storm fizzles out in the middle of the Atlantic.

Images (left to right): NASA Goddard Photo and Video/Flickr, Facebook