Pair of Boobs vs. Pair of Guns: Which Is More Dangerous?

Sasha Brown-Worsham
2

It's like Girls Gone Wild at the ATM and these French women sure know how to rob a guy.

Just yesterday, a pair of thieves used their breasts to take a guy's cash at the ATM, thus proving my point that men are utter boobs when it comes to our mammaries.

The tricky pair worked as a team, entering the ATM: One flashed her breasts while the other stole the money and then both ran Baywatch-style, breasts bouncing. Ah, the old Flash and Grab, works every time ...

But here's my question: How is this any different than a strip club? Look at my boobs while I take your cash ...

Men are so hypnotized by a nice rack that we could do practically anything to them if we show them ours, which is why I'm making it my goal in life to raise a boob-immune son.

Sadly, I am already starting at a deficit. My son, at 2 years old, shows no sign of ever weaning and seems just as transfixed by my boobs as that poor sap in the ATM was by the thief's. Nevertheless, I must try.

My plan has many parts, though it seems "desensitization" is backfiring. Instead of making him immune, he seems to only want them more.

So, how does one raise a smart, together son who will not fall to his knees at the sight of some cleavage?

Also, let's face it, I may not be the best person to teach this lesson. I have been known to use my assets to get what I want on more than one occasion ... Don't want to do the dishes honey? Really? Wanna see my boobs?

Works every time.

I would advise all men going into ATMs to keep their head in the game, set on the mission at hand, and if all else fails, repeat this as a mantra:

"I will not be deterred by boobs, I will not be deterred." Shut your eyes and repeat until safely back in your car.

Have you ever used your boobs to get something?


Image via C.P.Storm/Flickr

Read More