Freed Spy: I Wish I Were With Anna Chapman

Cynthia Dermody

igor sutyaginTalk about some really bad breaks in life. Igor Sutyagin has had a pretty lousy run for the past 15 years. And even when something seemingly good happens to him -- like being released from a grimy Russian prison after a decade -- it's still a bad thing.

You may be interested in knowing Sutyagin or his name only because of his very remote connection to the spy everyone wants to know -- Anna Chapman, sexy deported spy extraordinaire. Oh, how we miss her.

Sutyagin doesn't know Chapman, probably never met her. No reason he would. He and three other so-called American spies were released as part of a spy exchange with Anna and her motley crew.

Although, Sutyagin maintains to this day he was never a spy. He worked a job collecting information from Russian newspapers and government statements for a British investment company advising investors in Russia, according to an exclusive interview he gave to The New York Times.

Based on that description alone, I would have to agree. Reading newspapers and government statements and then making judgments about them doesn't make one a spy, it makes one a .... blogger?

Anyway, after the exchange, this Russian guy Sutyagin was flown to England, given $3,000 and a change of clothes, and told, "Good luck, have a nice life."

Lots of people would jump at an opportunity like this to start over in a new country. Not Sutyagin. He doesn't want to stay in Britain. He wants to go home to Russia, where his family is. He told the NYT he feels like he's traded "one prison for another."

I think this guy needs to stop whining and be thankful that 1) he's out of prison 2) he's in a really great country 3) he's kinda cute and the British girls would jump at the chance to date a spy, even though he's not one, and 4) unlike with Anna Chapman, there are no legal restrictions on him selling his story to HBO or Spielberg and making a bundle. Unless his real issue is that being banned from Russia means he'll never get to meet Anna Chapman, hmmm.


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