Terrorists Don't Kill Americans, Dogs Do

Jeanne Sager

dogs killThe terrorism threat level is at "elevated" today, "high" if you want to get on a plane. 

Just don't seek out Fido for comfort for your fears before boarding.

While you're terrified that the big mean terrorists are out there plotting ways to destroy America as you know it, guess who's killing God fearing 'mericans?

Not terrorists.

According to the new U.S. State Department Country Reports on Terrorism, there were just 9 U.S. citizens worldwide killed as a result of incidents of terrorism in 2009. There were 14 injured.

Every single one happened outside America's borders.

In the same time period, there were 32 fatal dog attacks on Americans.

OMG. The pit bulls are channeling Osama!

They're talking through him.

OMG. Maybe he's really the Son of Sam? He's operating a terror network from a maximum security prison in upstate New York. And he's up for parole again in May 2012!

On a serious note, the State Department does denote terrorism at work in other countries -- not surprisingly marking Iran as the most active state sponsor. Also of note: They're not getting much more sophisticated. Most attacks in 2009 were "perpetrated by terrorists applying conventional methods such as armed attacks, bombings, and kidnappings."

The terrorists are there, m'kay?

But they're not here.


Image via Meagan/Flickr

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