Sexy Russian Spy Anna Fermanova: The New Anna Chapman?

Cynthia Dermody
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Anna FermanovaMove over, Anna Chapman, the U.S. has discovered someone else to replace you: Texas beautician Anna Fermanova. She looks a lot like you -- high cheekbones, great skin, mysterious eyes, long silky hair, a sultry exotic air. She definitely fits the "sexy" but is she really a "Russian spy"?

This is open to interpretation, but how could we (guys) not draw comparisons between Chapman and Fermanova?

Fermanova, 24, isn't Russian, she's Latvian. Latvia is a little Baltic country to the east of Russia. Some would say that's close enough, or pretty much the same thing. And "Latvian" doesn't have the same ring as "Russian." Plus, Fermanova was traveling to Russia when she was intercepted for attempting to smuggle "sophisticated military weapons" there from Texas, where she lives.

But Fermanova wasn't really attempting to smuggle "weapons," either. Yeah that's what the State Department would consider them -- on paper -- but a few rifle scopes and night-vision goggles are not exactly guns or bombs. Fermanova's husband had reportedly intended to resell the night-vision scopes to hunters. They shoot bear and elk over there.

Fermanova came to the U.S. from Latvia as a child with her parents, so she may not even have an accent. A lot of people (guys) would find that disappointing. She works as a beautician here, and splits her time between Dallas and Moscow, where she teaches English. She was arrested on July 15 when she returned to the United States after the smuggling attempt. Her passport was confiscated and she's in jail in New York awaiting a trial date on charges that could land her 10 years in prison.

Fermanova and Chapman aren't acquainted with each other -- and don't you know some reporter (guy) asked that question already, oh boy, yes he did. It was the first question on his list. In fact, Fermanova had nothing even remotely to do with the Chapman spy ring that was busted last month by the FBI and who were all deported back to Russia.

Except, even Chapman and those other people weren't really spy spies. They never got their hands on any top-secret information, nothing that would undermine the workings of our country or even give Russia a military, political, or economic edge. The best our government could figure to charge them with was "failure to register as an agent for the Russian government." That's bad, sort of like failing to register your car at the DMV, but not bad bad.

For all these reasons I feel Anna Fermanova deserves the title "Sexy Russian Spy" too. Now if you'll excuse me while I go and remove the question mark from this post's headline.

 

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