Keeping My Cool: Leave My Air Conditioner Alone

Jenny Erikson
15

jenny eriksonStan Cox really doesn't like air conditioning. In his "scientific" new book (and I use the term scientific in a loose and mocking manner), Losing Our Cool: Uncomfortable Truths About Our Air-Conditioned World (and Finding New Ways to Get Through the Summer), Mr. Cox points out the steep personal and societal price of air conditioning.

Personally, I think air conditioning has been wonderful for society. People definitely smell better. Smelling nice is good. Smelling like stinky armpit sweat is gross. By my logic, air conditioning is helping us love our neighbors.

But, but, but ... air conditioning increases our carbon footprint! The ice caps will melt and we'll be forced to live on boats with a web-footed Kevin Costner and drink our own pee!

Calm down everyone, the ice caps are not melting. There is zip, zero, zilch, nada evidence that the Earth is warming, and even if it were, there's no proof that we humans are responsible for the climate change. To get a conviction in court, there needs to be evidence. But for some reason we have a bunch of crazy politicians burning copious amounts of fuel, all the while yelling at us to buy expensive light bulbs so we can be green. 

If Nancy Pelosi actually believes that the planet is going to be irreparably harmed by carbon emissions, why doesn't she reduce her own? I know burning my house down is a bad idea, so guess what? I don't do it. Sister should practice what she preaches.

In an article Monday in the Washington Post, Stan Cox goes even further than the global warming argument in his fight against air conditioners. He claims that air conditioning is responsible for the breakdown of American society. Which is interesting, because if Mr. Cox had been to a single Tea Party protest, church picnic, or county fair in the past year or two, he'd see that America is alive and well.

Maybe it is true that there are two Americas. In my America, communities work and play together. Moms arrange trips to the beach and the pool, and children sneak second and third Popsicles. Dads take everyone to the park to play catch. Friends and family are constantly in and out of each other's houses for cocktail parties or barbecues, or to simply hang out for a while and shoot the breeze. When it gets too hot, the air conditioner flicks on and we pour some lemonade and enjoy some cooling down time.

In Stan Cox's America, the air conditioner is responsible for everything from childhood obesity to theft, rape, and murder. In Stand Cox's America, the air conditioner has forced us to sit in our dark living rooms watching TV. Cool air has rendered us incapable of genuine human connection, and the lack of people on the streets has led to increases in crime. Apparently there were no shady neighborhoods before the advent of air conditioning.

Who knew that all we had to do to solve all the problems of society was to go back in time 100 years? It's interesting that the so-called progressives want nothing more than to regress to a time when we didn't have the wondrous option of standing under the cooling vent, thanking God for the brains he gave us so that we could invent air conditioners.

Stan Cox may lose his cool if he likes. But I'm keeping mine.

 

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