Dear people who have already put up holiday lights,
I'd like to personally thank you for not only being a total buzz kill -- but also for being in such a rush to celebrate Christmas that you can't let me relax and enjoy my Thanksgiving.
Oh, and I know you'll be enjoying every second of yours, what with all the holiday decorating out of the way. (Eye roll.)
Here's a little food for thought (no pun intended). This Thursday when you're stuffing your face full of turkey and mashed potatoes while admiring the twinkly lights on your front porch? Yeah -- I'll be in the toy shop working overtime to get a jump start on things since the holidays seem to be rolling around so much earlier this year. (Don't you people know how much I love to get my eat on? This belly of mine isn't a result of skipping meals.)