9 Nightmare Messes That Moms Clean at Olympic Speed

woman cleaning with paper towels

By Leah Maxwell

Motherhood is a smorgasbord of tiny disasters, and when it comes to cleaning up after your kids, one of the most important things to remember is that you can’t just be good - you’ve got to be QUICK, too. Here are nine messes moms learn to tackle with gold-medal speed:

1. It’s hard not to cry over spilled milk when it always happens on the couch. Clean now or forever hold your nose. 

2. You diligently laid down newspaper within a ten-foot vicinity of your child’s art project, so of course now there’s paint on the ceiling. Time for the high jump before it dries into a Sistine Chapel-esque masterpiece!

 

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3. If you look at it the right way, there’s almost something wondrous about the way the juice spreads so smoothly across the tabletop before it cascades majestically to the floor. Isn’t there? (Nope. Better grab the entire roll of Bounty RIGHTTHISSECOND.) 

4. Here’s a happy thought: If you clean the potty accident in under one minute, maybe you can forget it ever happened!  

5. It’s flattering when your kids say they want to be just like you. Not so much when they use all of your makeup in one sitting, and attempt to pretty up the baby, too.

6. Mud is nature’s way of saying, “This is why you can’t have nice things.” Better blot and scrub now or it will linger as an indefinite reminder.

7. I don’t know if there’s a world record for cleaning up late-night bed barf, but you should always try to beat your personal best. 

8. Ask not what squeeze pouches can do for you, but what you can do to make sure squeeze pouches go in the kid’s mouth instead of on the cat. Because cats tend to run quicker than your own Bounty-clutching paws can move. (Yes, this is one of those moments you’ll wish you had the speed of Olympic sprinter Allyson Felix.)

9. Truth: If you don’t clean a child’s car seat immediately after the puke/poop/pee/spilled-milk episode, you might as well just buy a new car.

What quick-clean feats have you performed lately?

 

Leah Maxwell is a book editor, freelance writer, cereal addict, wife, and mom to two young boys. She has been blogging at A Girl and a Boy since 2003.  

Image ©iStock.com/AVAVA

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