6 Home Decor Items You're Not Oprah Enough to Own (PHOTOS)

Lisa Fogarty | Mar 18, 2015 Home & Garden

Oprah Winfrey is officially a California Girl. The media maven has ditched the Windy City for La La Land after closing Harpo Studios. Oprah is leaving a few hot household items behind that will be auctioned off in April, with all proceeds benefiting the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy Foundation. 

Assuming you're itching to spend oodles of money, have a house that already resembles the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and are raising Robo-children who wear plastic gloves all day long, these six totally impractical items could be yours.

If money were no object, would you want any of these items in your home?

 

Image via Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

  • Gold clock with arrows

    1

    Your husband asks, "What time is it, honey?" You glance at your Oprah Austrian Giltwood Cartel Clock, which is wrapped in a luxurious gold headscarf and tied in a knot at top with, um, plumed arrows that could take an eye out, and you both become so mesmerized by this ancient artifact hanging above your IKEA sofa that you forget the original question.

  • Side Table

    2

    Apparently, Oprah has a thing for gold. This piece is called a Russian Parcel Gilt Simulated Burlwood Gueridon or, as your friends will refer to it: that blindingly bright table that fits one drink and features mythological winged lions -- which they'll all know you can't name because they knew you back when you cut numerous Greek Mythology classes in college.

  • A Jorg and Olif Bicycle

    3

    Ah, a bicycle -- Oprah really is just like us! The problem is, you'll get this lovely Jorg and Olif Bicycle home and won't be able to decide if you should hang it up in the living room to show guests, keep it covered in plastic, or actually ride it. How would you sleep at night knowing you got mud on the tires of Oprah's fancy bicycle?

  • Table

    4

    This George Giltwood Console Table will look great in your foyer. Unless you are one of millions of people who live in an apartment. Or reside in one of the many, many homes in America in which you open the front door and immediately slam it into the living room couch. In those cases, it can also double as the nicest snack tray any human has ever owned.

  • Porcelain Vases

    5

    Crash! That's the sound these gorgeous Famile Vert Porcelain Vases and Covers will make 30 seconds after you place them on the ground and your 3-year-old comes over and tries to use them as shoes. So, you'll just place them gingerly on the dining room table instead? Your dog is already on to that plan.

  • Portrait of Dogs

    6

    Speaking of dogs, this painting, which is called Dogs in Snow by Maude Earl, will look natural next to our family portraits, don't you think?

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