10 Lies Moms Tell Themselves at the Grocery Store

supermarket cart full of healthy food

I admit, I'm a total liar -- when I'm grocery shopping, anyway. Upholder of truth in every other occasion, something about buying food turns me into the biggest self-deceiving, pants-on-fire, in-denial fibber around. Why is that? Well, I'm not the only one -- because here are some of the most ridiculous lies moms tell in the grocery store.

I'm sure you've never muttered any of these to yourself while pushing a shopping cart through the produce aisle ...

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  • The Nutella Lie

    1

    "I can TOTALLY handle keeping Nutella in my kitchen. This time I'm not going to snarf it all down straight from the jar while standing in front of the pantry like last time."

    Please. You know you cannot be trusted to own Nutella. Put it back.

  • The Salad Lie

    2

    "We're going to eat salad with dinner every night this week! So I'd better buy these expensive, organic greens and tomatoes."

    No, you're not.

  • The Sugary Cereal Lie

    3

    "This is the LAST time I cave to my kids and buy that sugary cereal they won't shut up about. I just don't have the energy to say 'no' today."

    You will cave again next week because grocery shopping with your kids is always exhausting.

  • The Brussels Sprouts Lie

    4

    "I'm going to find a way to cook Brussels sprouts so my kids like them!"

    Nope. This is not going to happen. Not even if you add bacon.

  • The Mystery Meat Lie

    5

    "This weird-looking, on-sale meat is probably perfectly fine for us to eat."

    You will regret that meat purchase. Trust.

  • The Not-Over-Budget Lie

    6

    "I didn't go over my budget. This looks like a lot of food but it's mostly stuff that was on sale. I'm gonna be fine!"

    Nope, you definitely went over budget and you're going to be THAT mom, deciding what to leave behind at checkout.

  • The Broken Glass Lie

    7

    "OMG, who knocked over that big jar of pickles and just walked away like that? Certainly not one of my kids! I'm pretty sure no one saw my precious angel destroy that whole pickle display while running past it. Ew, what's that smell?"

    Lady, WE SAW THE WHOLE THING. You're not fooling anyone.

  • The Cookies Lie

    8

    "These are for the KIDS. I'm buying these cookies for the kids. Not me. Kids."

    Please. You are buying those cookies for yourself.

  • The Wine Lie

    9

    "But we're having a dinner party! We NEED all this wine."

    You're having one other family over for dinner. He drinks beer, she will have exactly two sips from her glass, and their kids are under 5. I think we all know who all that wine is really for.

  • The Open Package Lie

    10

    "I'm doing everyone in this store a favor by letting my whiny child snack on this box of crackers I haven't paid for yet."

    Okay, there's this word, see? It's called "no," and your child will not die if you use it on him. Also you're leaving a trail of crumbs all over the whole store.

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