16 Things I'm Ashamed to Admit I'm Thankful For

Yesterday, I was sent a group email asking me to list things I’m thankful for that aren’t traditional, like: "my family," "food on the table," etc. Other moms on the email tree were coming back with beautiful sentiments about new friendships, the help of strangers, and averting disasters.

I didn’t respond because everything I thought of seemed trite, superficial, and a tad less profound.  However, I did write a list, and frankly, I'll share it with you because these things totally deserve thanks in my book -- just refrain from saying them around the dinner table.

1. I am thankful for the dimmer switch in my bedroom.

2. I am thankful that I keep a pair of tweezers in my car.

3. I am thankful my daughter has not lost faith in the tooth fairy, and my son goes along with it.

4. I am thankful I didn't have an affair with the head of the CIA.

5. I am thankful for Homeland -- somehow that red-headed guy is really sexy?!


6. I am thankful for those awesome skinny hangers that make my closet seem bigger.

7. I am thankful for stars like Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, and J.Lo., who make 40 seem not so old.

8. I am thankful for The Voice, but mostly Adam Levine (who I've realized is the Jewish mom's Jon Hamm).

9. I am thankful for the pictures of Jon Hamm's penis that are still circulating on the Internet (even though "Hamm" is not kosher).

10. I am thankful for indoor plumbing and electricity (see Sandy).

11. I am thankful my kids have figured out how to buckle seat belts, wipe themselves, and use step stools to reach things.

12. I am thankful they still ask me to lie with them at bedtime.

13. I am thankful burgundy is the new black -- it's really the unsung hero of slimming colors.

14. I am thankful Lisa Whelchel was on Survivor -- I'd been waiting for a comeback since The Facts of Life (fingers crossed they get Tootie next season).

15. I am thankful that Fifty Shades of Grey brought vibrators into the bedroom.

16. I am thankful for the $20 bill I found in my jeans yesterday -- that's always exciting.

I'm thankful for traditional stuff too, but it's super cathartic to mention the stuff that might get you kicked out of Thanksgiving dinner.

Try it, I promise not to judge. What is the most nontraditional thing you're thankful for?

Image via Best Norman Rockwell Art

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