5 Reasons Hurricane Sandy Is Going to Ruin Everything

hurricane sandy
WHHHYYY?!!!
A short while ago, I wrote a post that talked about how it's cool that Hurricane Sandy is going to strip us of our power and bring us back to our roots, because we'll get to spend family time, etc. etc. etc. But now I'm writing one that highlights why it's going to suck big time when we lose our power, because A) I'm a contrarian, and B) I'm starting to get nervous, as I look outside and see the wind a-gustin'.

Guys, it's happening. We're going to lose power. I can't see how we won't. And here are 5 reasons having no power is going to ruin everything.

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NO INTERNET. What. The. F**k?! What are we going to do without the Internet, you guys? How will we know what's going on with the storm; when our power is going to come back on; what Kim Kardashian's cat is doing.

No TV. Again, no Kardashians. Really, why live?

No phones. Talking is cool for a little while, but you know what you can't do with voice? Use emoticons! Nobody can stick their tongue out and turn their eyes into X's like a little yellow smiley face can.

We're going to turn on each other. We may even eat each other! Who knows what we're capable of after being cooped up -- sans power -- for two days. Doubt it'll be good. 

We're going to eat all our Halloween candy. A bag has already been cracked at my house. It's the crappy bag, though. The one with the Snickers and Reese's is still in tact. For now. It's going to suck for trick-or-treaters on Wednesday when they ring my bell and get an extension cord or a Pottery Barn catalog. Sorry kids -- y'burnt!

Are looking forward to the insanity that is Hurricane Sandy?

 

Image via Nicole Fabian-Weber

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