Are your kids begging for a puppy? Do they promise again and again that they'll walk the dog and feed the dog and clean up after the dog? Are you beginning to cave? Well, don't. Aren't these the very kids who vow to do their homework immediately after school, later running out the door to play with friends, and promise to use inside voices when you ask them to, but yell at the top of their lungs instead? Indeed, they are, and I guarantee that they won't be as helpful as they're making you believe they will be. And, it turns out, having a puppy is even harder than having kids ...
(And, yes, that's my 9-week-old golden retriever. Don't let her cuteness fool you. She's a devil.)
1. You'll no longer sleep though the night. You'll be up just as often as you were with a newborn and a puppy isn't nearly as good of an excuse for dark circles as a new baby is.
2. Scrubbing pee and shit out of the carpet becomes part of the daily routine. It turns out dog poop is even worse than baby poop.
3. There's another mouth to feed every night. And you can't just whip out a boob.
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4. And another body to clean up after. Hello, muddy paws. At least newborns keep their mess contained to their diapers.
5. The doctor bills are insane. Why is it that I'm at the vet's so much more than I was ever at the pediatrician's?
6. Nobody offers to watch the "baby" or brings you dinner like they did when you had a new baby.
7. Shoes become chew toys. Not one of my kids ever destroyed my favorite pair of heels. Ever.
8. The crying. Sure, baby cries are sad. But dog cries? ARE THE MOST ANNOYING THING ON EARTH.
9. There's no such thing as puppy maternity leave.
10. The dog won't take care of you when you're old. And, even worse, you'll have to take care of it.
Still considering that puppy?
Image via Scary Mommy
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Comments 66
I like any article that reminds people that pets are a lot of work and vet bills cost a fortune.Make sure to choose a breed that fits your lifestyle.If you are looking for a pet that never loses their fat puppy cuteness,is fairly low maintenance(physically),and most of the time very calm,I recommend a pug.Pugs are great for cuddling on the couch and for people with children.They aren't meant for long walks,being outside,and can take up to a year to house train.Pets are for life
My little pomeranian has only peed and pooped on the carpet a handful of times ever since we got her when she was 8 weeks old back in April. As long as you watch them and know the signs (circling, sniffing the ground, going to a different room then everyone else is in, etc.) then its not hard to catch them before the act and let them out. The only times she goes on the floor is when we forget to put her in her kennel at night. For some reason she just wont hold it all night outside of her kennel. BUT, she does chew all of my underwear......
Wow. You've built up so much anger in your life that you have to talk shit about puppies? I mean, really? Puppies? Well guess what (and all you freaking babies are natural and everything about their care is beautiful) I have three kids and my dog did't rip my vag to my asshole! My kid did.
I took my dog to training class for 1 hour, once a week for 6 weeks, he does not (even BEFORE he was trained) woke me up in the middle of the night. He does everything I say and I cant get my kids to do that if I PAY them. I would WHOLE lot rather pick a dog turd off the floor with 1 paper towel than clean shit up off a baby that has it in ever little wrinkle and fold sometime clear down their leg.
Honestly? watch 2 dogs humping than watch you whip your tit out while I'm having a big mac and show it to the world while you squeeze at your boob and then look at me because I am some kind of monster because I don't wanna see your drippy titty while I'm eating. If the point of breast feeding is to create a closer more INTIMATE bond with your child then be intimate and do that shit in private! I don't wish to be a part of your bonding experience. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR LEAKY TIT! And then you get mad that I am looking at you weird? LADY YOU HAVE A PERSON HANGING FROM YOUR BOOB RIGHT NOW! You're just sitting there talking or reading a book la la la. There is a parasite FEEDING off you right now!!!!!
You know what? Pissing is a natural thing too, so is having your period but do you see anyone squatting in the dining area or tugging their string do you? No because it's PRIVATE. You'd be offended if some hot chick took her top off and your husband looked at her. So why is it when you dangling a baby from your nip does become ok?
Shit, I'll take a dog after going through the nightmare of parenting for 18 years ANY DAY. My dog didn't get caught drinking at 16, the principal NEVER needs to have a conference with me about my dog, I don't have to drop my dog off at school, I dont have to get my dog a cell phone, and my dog OBEYS me!
Honestly, you are a sad sorry excuse for a person to lay they blame on an animal when clearly the fault lies with the competence of its owner. I certainly hope you think better of your children.
Yes I have to make 3 post because this was too long
Shannon,your comment is like" the pot calling the kettle angry"
10 WAYS PUPPIES ARE BETTER THAN KIDS
Puppies smell better than kids.
You can leave them home alone to run errands.
It doesn't take 2-3 years to potty train them.
Put their food in a bowl on the floor - done - and they always eat what you give them.
They don't need a daily bath.
They don't need one more story, one more glass of water, etc., before bedtime.
They don't outgrow their clothes.
They rarely throw up on you.
They don't talk back to you.
You don't have to send puppies to college.