A Mom’s Guide to the Terrifying Task of Assembling IKEA Furniture

IKEAAfter reading a funny guide on how to successfully put together your IKEA furniture, I couldn't help but laugh out loud. The guide is ironically called "IKEA Assembly Made Easy," and if you've ever purchased a piece of furniture from the store, then you fully understand just how hysterical this idea is.

Because while IKEA stuff is chic, affordable, and so much fun to shop for (because of the Swedish meatballs in the cafeteria, of course), believe it or not -- it doesn't magically assemble itself when you arrive home and take the pieces out of the box. Nope. You're expected to actually follow directions and put the entire dresser, bed, or whatever else together like a pro.

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My son's entire bedroom set is from IKEA, and let me tell you -- it was no picnic for my husband to get everything put together. I left the house on the day he was set to conquer the feat -- because I know better than to get in the way of him dropping a series of f-bombs about how the directions are all wrong (or that a page is missing from the instruction manual).

Despite getting frustrated more than a few times, he did manage to end the day with a bed, two dressers, and two nightstands fully in check and ready for use. However, I can't even begin to imagine what the outcome would've been had I tried to put those pieces together instead of him.

But I'm sure I'd manage somehow, and my list of tips for surviving the process as a mom would probably look something like this:

1. Flirt with the delivery man in the hopes that he'll feel compelled to stay an extra few hours and put the furniture together himself at no extra charge.

2. Cry when the delivery man asks me to sign the papers and proceeds to get back in his truck and drive back to IKEA-land. Maybe he'll feel sorry for me and put the furniture together himself at no extra charge.

3. Leave the stuff in the boxes for the next couple years and vow to "get to it one day when I have more free time."

4. Take all of the pieces out of the box, skim over the directions, and then go pour a stiff martini and catch up on my reality TV shows that are on the DVR instead.

5. Call the delivery man and make him come pick the stuff back up, and then become a minimalist and vow to sit on the floor for the rest of my life.

Are you an IKEA shopper? Are you good at assembling your own furniture?

 

Image via Calgary Reviews/Flickr

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