Neighbors. Can't live with them, can't tell crazy neighbor stories without them. The latest installment in wacky resident disputes comes out of Teaneck, New Jersey, where Daniel Collins, 72, is being accused of threatening his neighbor with a .32 caliber revolver, allegedly saying that he was going to "put a hole" in his foe's head. The reason? The neighbor passed gas in front of Collins' door. Apparently, the fart was the final straw -- these two have been fighting for a long, long time.
I hate an air biscuit on my doorstep as much as the next guy, but I don't think that a puff muffin could make me wield a deadly weapon. That said, a tooting dispute is just one of the many insane things neighbors have fought about. Check these out.
All this 11-year-old girl wanted to do was play outside, but when she came too close to her neighbor's car, he shot her. The bullet grazed her liver and she survived, but that crazy and deadly neighbor was sent to jail.
Then there's this world-class guy who attacked his neighbor with a broomstick and stabbed him in the stomach when his kittens were being harassed by said neighbor's dog. Rrrear! That's one crazy cat lover, and one crazy broom-wielding, stomach-stabbing lunatic.
And this 19-year-old dude who put on a bra and panties and proceeded to kill his neighbor's goat. When the police got to the scene, they found a porno mag next to the poor animal. In case you hadn't guessed, bath salts were to blame for this neighbor's psychosis.
Speaking of bath salts, this crazy high neighbor bludgeoned his 77-year-old neighbor with a shovel after she told him she didn't like that he threw tools at her birds. Unbelievably, the woman was released from the hospital with only minor injuries.
And no bad-neighbor round-up would be complete without mentioning some Jersey Shore kiddos. Snooki and JWoww admitted that they're terrible to live next to. The self-tanning fumes alone would be enough reason for me to call the cops.
Isn't there something in some religious book about loving thy neighbor? If we can't get along with them, I suppose the least we could do is ignore their farts and not kill their goats. It's only common courtesy, really.
Do you have any wacky neighbor stories?
Photo via ab9kt/Flickr