Turtle Couple ‘Divorce’ After 115 Years Together Because They Can’t Stand Each Other

Awww! 3

The vow "'Til death do us part" should be taken seriously, but giant turtles live a long time! After 115 years together, two giant turtles at an Austrian zoo had a falling out and decided they want a divorce -- and can you blame them?! The first sign of trouble came when the female bit off part of her male partner's shell. No word on what precipitated the rift, but I'm thinking either she got sick of cleaning up after him or he insinuated that she'd gained weight. The "marriage" between Bibi and Poldi was the oldest one on zoo record, but even with "counseling," the couple have still decided to call it quits, refusing to share living quarters anymore.

Zoo officials say that they tried to get the couple back on the same page. They were fed aphrodisiacs and encouraged to play games together, but they just seem to have lost that lovin' feeling. You know how it is sometimes -- the therapy comes far, far too late. I wonder if someone could read Fifty Shades of Grey to them?

At any rate, zookeepers will continue to try different methods to get this couple back together, but for now they have to remain separated since the turtles could, if they liked, kill each other. Apparently it's very rare for animals who have been a couple this long to suddenly want to go their separate ways, so no one is quite sure what happened. No word on whether a sultry young turtle with two large bumps on her shell moved in nearby, or if there was a turtle with killer abs who came by once a week to clean the pool.

I'm thinking these two just need a break from each other -- I mean, it's been 115 years they've been up each other's shells. Perhaps they just need a little time apart in order to recapture that old black magic.

Do you think 115 years is long enough to be together?

 

Image via Jim Bowen/Flickr

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