Yankee 'Man Candles' Are Missing These 10 Smells

man candles

After Yankee Candle did a quick survey of their stores and discovered that the longest any man has stayed put within their scented shop was 0.02 seconds, they decided to develop some man-friendly aromas. Who knows if times are tough for the venerable candle makers or if they just got bored with putting gardenia in everything, but the company has come up with four new candles that are sure to entice the fellas.

No need to jump in your car and head to the nearest outlet mall because, good news, these bad boy scents are in stock and sold online. Now, in a matter of seconds, you could be the proud owner of a jar of wax that smells like "Man Town" (spices, wood, and musk), "First Down" (orange, patchouli, vetiver, and leather), "Riding Mower" (freshly cut grass), or "2x4" (freshly planed wood and sawdust).

But why stop there?

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I feel like those Yanks are just scraping the surface when it comes to man scents. What about ...

  • Daddy Duty (baby powder, crap, and singed milk)
  • Rocker Fantasies (sweat, cocaine, and pyro)
  • Office Memories (printer ink, freshly opened ream of paper, and yesterday's lunch)
  • Frat Daze (stale beer, vomit, and bleach)
  • Little League (grass, popcorn, and Big League Chew)
  • Guys' Trip (motor oil, vinyl, and Motel 8)
  • Wedding Night (cake, champagne, and cake)
  • Outdoor Adventure (fire, bug spray, and fresh fish)
  • Draper Dreams (whiskey, the '60s, and ladies' perfume)
  • Power Meeting (steak sauce, martinis, and adrenaline)

And hey, if any of these get used, I want a lifetime's supply of free wax, OK? Fair's fair.

What do you think of Yankee Candles' new manly collection?

 

Photo via yankeecandle.com

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