Thieves Steal Man's Entire Front Yard


astroturf lawnThere are few times that theft is ever a laughing matter. We work hard for our money, and so to have someone come and snatch what's rightfully ours is both maddening and unfair. That's why we have laws to punish thieves. A recent case of theft, however, is almost too funny to be punished. Almost.

It happened in England earlier this month. Steve Woolnough, 54, went out of his house one day with no indication that anything was awry. Only what he saw outside his very door -- or more accurately, what he didn't see -- was enough to stun any homeowner.

His grass was gone, and no, that's not slang for his marijuana stash or anything else. It was his actual grass -- his entire front lawn that was stolen. It was a small yard, just about 100 square feet, and it was artificial grass (which somehow makes it even funnier), but still. Can you imagine? He told The Sun:

I'm absolutely seething over it, I really am. How dare someone steal what I have had to work hard for. You try and make your house look nice and someone comes along and steals what you have got.

Police believe it wasn't just one thief at work, but rather a gang of grass nabbers. What anyone would want with all of that grass is beyond me. Surely it couldn't be for something as simple as putting it in their own yard, could it? I suppose stranger things have happened, but I'm imaging something more sinister or sillier.

Maybe it's just a big huge prank that someone pulled on him? That would be the best scenario, especially because then I wouldn't feel quite so bad laughing about it.

Police are taking it seriously, however, and are asking people in the area to come forward if they saw any suspicious people in the area. Woolnough isn't about to give up any more grass for free either. He says before he puts down any more of the green stuff, he's installing cameras. If only they'd been rolling when he stepped out and saw the grass missing -- that's some footage I'd really like to see.

What's the strangest thing anyone has stolen from you?


Image via StewC/Flickr


gardening, newsworthy, outdoors


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Jenny... JennyG0929

Our house was robbed and my high school yearbook was stolen. It still annoys me.

Sleep... SleepingBeautee

My guess is that it was his neighbors because they didn't want to look at his tacky artificial grass anymore. Still rotten... but FUNNY!

nonmember avatar Dani

2 beers, and a bottle of prenatal vitamins lol. I guess they thought the prenatals were something else.

Jess1... Jess10210

My wallet was stolen and full of credit cards, gift cards, etc. All my high school and college IDs were in it cuz I got a kick out of looking at em once in a while. whoever took my wallet left everything BUT the school IDS, which is great but creepy and it still pisses me off that I cant look in my wallet and laugh at the pics anymore >:(

vamom08 vamom08

My sister use to still my daughters diapers knowing her daughter couldnt fit them.

douxm... douxmusique

All my Hanson and jewel cds from my car about ten years ago. Left my stereo but took my cds. It was June and I even had Christmas stiff in there.

nonmember avatar Missforth

Didn't happen to me but someone I knew. Some kids broke into his house stole some guns (heirlooms with no ammo), an expencive guitar and ......a gallon of As they ran away they tossed the guitar but kept the gallon of milk.

Evaly... EvalynCarnate

Some one broke into my husband's truck once and stole a bag of brownies I'd made for him to take to work the next day. That's all...not the stereo or the seat covers or whatever. Just a bag of brownies. I hope they choked on them.

Kim Kajdasz

My vacuum cleaner, a new (still in the package) toilet seat, cameras, and my clarinet.  My old landlady's ex-husband (who she allowed to live with her) was a drug addict.  He would "shop" in my apartment and pawn things for drug money.  Needless to say I'm in a new apartment!

nv2507 nv2507

A pair of really nice sunglasses. It was for the best, I suppose, considering they were from an ex. But, still...I LIKED those sunglasses!

1-10 of 26 comments 123 Last