Thieves Steal Man's Entire Front Yard

astroturf lawnThere are few times that theft is ever a laughing matter. We work hard for our money, and so to have someone come and snatch what's rightfully ours is both maddening and unfair. That's why we have laws to punish thieves. A recent case of theft, however, is almost too funny to be punished. Almost.

It happened in England earlier this month. Steve Woolnough, 54, went out of his house one day with no indication that anything was awry. Only what he saw outside his very door -- or more accurately, what he didn't see -- was enough to stun any homeowner.


His grass was gone, and no, that's not slang for his marijuana stash or anything else. It was his actual grass -- his entire front lawn that was stolen. It was a small yard, just about 100 square feet, and it was artificial grass (which somehow makes it even funnier), but still. Can you imagine? He told The Sun:

I'm absolutely seething over it, I really am. How dare someone steal what I have had to work hard for. You try and make your house look nice and someone comes along and steals what you have got.

Police believe it wasn't just one thief at work, but rather a gang of grass nabbers. What anyone would want with all of that grass is beyond me. Surely it couldn't be for something as simple as putting it in their own yard, could it? I suppose stranger things have happened, but I'm imaging something more sinister or sillier.

Maybe it's just a big huge prank that someone pulled on him? That would be the best scenario, especially because then I wouldn't feel quite so bad laughing about it.

Police are taking it seriously, however, and are asking people in the area to come forward if they saw any suspicious people in the area. Woolnough isn't about to give up any more grass for free either. He says before he puts down any more of the green stuff, he's installing cameras. If only they'd been rolling when he stepped out and saw the grass missing -- that's some footage I'd really like to see.

What's the strangest thing anyone has stolen from you?


Image via StewC/Flickr

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