ikea houseI know most of us aren't quite sure how to handle this housing market situation right now -- do we buy? do we sell? do we refinance? what? tell me! -- but fortunately, there's someone shedding some light on the conundrum, and that someone happens to be IKEA. They've developed a pre-fabricated home that you can purchase for only $80,000. It's a lovely one bedroom, one bath, one level abode that's eco-friendly and full of all the coolest IKEA furnishings. It's been called "hip" and "modern" and it's taking, surprise surprise, the Portland Home & Garden show by storm. I mean, it would, wouldn't it.

So, guys. Are you up for THE ULTIMATE IKEA CHALLENGE of assembling your own house? Think of all those ridged, cylindrical wooden pegs! Think of all the tiny little Allen wrenches! So fun!

So they don't say that the house is self-assembly, but it's IKEA -- what isn't self-assembly there? I like to think that they're literally going to ship you pieces of a house that you've got to put together using their tiny little tools and the instruction booklet that only has pictures, no words.

All you'll need is an empty lot, a friend or spouse (IKEA assembly booklets always recommend that you work with a partner) and 100,000 hours. I mean, you'll have to sort through hundreds of tiny plastic bags that hold screws that all look the same, but are apparently different, and you'll mix up what's supposed to be the floor and what's supposed to be the roof and you'll have to re-do it, and of course you'll lose your temper and start kicking the shit out of some piece of painted white wood that doesn't seem to fit anywhere entire piece, and then there's the crying and the threats of divorce ... so, yes. You'll need some time.

But once it's all done and you've managed to figure out how to install plumbing and electricity all from those little cartoon character drawings, you'll have a house! Hooray! Then the other part of the fun begins, waiting for it to come crashing down around you because, oops, that piece of painted white wood actually did have a use. Sorry, honey.

What do you think of the IKEA house?

 

Photo via seanboyer/Flickr