The first person I knew who paid a local florist to deliver a Christmas tree -- already decked out with gold ribbons and tinsel -- was a woman who had three kids under five and was pregnant with the fourth. “That’s awful!” I thought. Then: “What the hell is wrong with me? She’s a genius!”
Maybe in the land of Christmas specials and Precious Moments figurines, harried parents climb ladders in the bitter cold to create stunning light-sculptures around their houses. But in the real world most of us can barely figure out how to hang streamers at a birthday party. Come on. You know it’s true.
Not convinced? Read on. Before you know it you’ll be joining in on the latest Christmas-decoration trend -- sitting nestled all snug in your couch, sipping hot cocoa while you watch SOMEONE ELSE deck your halls.
Here are a few of the many, many reasons why paying someone else to decorate your house for the holidays is the best idea ever:
You don't want to be the "ugly-lights house" on the block.
Every neighborhood has one. The house where they had big plans that didn’t work out. Maybe they only had enough lights to string one line halfway up, then gave up and hit the eggnog. Maybe they tried to drape them artistically over the hedges and ended up with a light blob. It’s one thing to snicker at them. It’s another thing to be them. Don’t be the trashy-lights house! Trust the experts!
You don't want to climb a ladder in this weather.
You’ve got two options, ladder-wise: Either your ladder is made of metal, which means it instantly freezes when you bring it out into 20 degree temperature; or it’s wood, which means it’s older than the hand-me-down ornaments you’re afraid to use because they always shatter. Also, it’s windy up there. Also, if you haven’t climbed a Stairmaster in six months, a ladder is not the best place to start.
In this economy, someone needs the work.
If you still have a job, you’re one of the lucky ones. I guarantee you that there’s someone, probably in your neighborhood, who’d be glad for the chance to make some Christmas-gift cash hanging lights and plugging in glowing Santas. See? I just made it so your laziness is all about the giving. You’re welcome.
Trimming the tree can be a warm memory for your family. Driving Daddy to the emergency room? Not so much. So if you’re considering paying someone to decorate your house, do it. (And if you’re thinking you could do this for someone else? Well, make the Craigslist ad, lady!)
Would you pay to have your home decorated for Christmas?
Image via Mad Moleculel/Flickr