Ugly House Deer Head

There are days when I look around my apartment -- cluttered, disorganized, and half-decorated -- and think, "There's no other home as crappy as mine." Then I log on to Ugly House Photos, a Phoenix-based website that displays real-estate sale photos that should never have been uploaded ... and I feel a tiny bit better.

Before you judge me, you’ve got to see the hilariawful images (and snarktastic quips) of one Mr. Leif Swanson. He’s a realtor himself and couldn’t believe the dumb mistakes homeowners made when trying to sell their homes. "The first impression is ruined by a bad photo," he says. In other words, if your dog is pooping on your front lawn ... wait 30 seconds before snapping your picture. Trust me.

Ogle some of Swanson's best (er, worst) and see if you don’t find yourself snickering as much as I did.

Child does not come with room.

Ugly House 1


Big sale on green paint?

Ugly House 2

Swanson says, "I'll give you $20 to open one of those garbage cans."

Ugly House 3

The Grotto? Not-o.

Ugly House 4

This is where you crap. If you are wondering what crap is ...

Ugly House 5

Flashback to high-school make-out parties. Seriously, I'm hearing Rush right now.

Ugly House 6

The point is: You don't have to hire a fancy staging company to make your home look unrealistically perfect, but you do have to pick up your laundry and, if you can't fold it, at least take it out of the frame.

And now I know that if I want to sell my house for its best price, I need to pack up my huge collection of vintage troll dolls.

Now let’s vote: Which of these, if you’re being brutally honest, comes closest to your own lovely abode? (I think mine's sadly most like the last one.)

 

Images via UglyHousePhotos