Matt Lauer's Top 10 Travel List Is Hysterical (VIDEO)

matt lauer late showI have a rule. I'm not allowed to turn on the Today show in the mornings before work because I will get sucked in for hours. The bright colors, the smiling faces, the tan, shiny forehead of Matt Lauer ... it's all so engrossing. Speaking of which, I hear that it's about time for that sexy kook to start circumnavigating the globe again on his tenth season of "Where in the World is Matt Lauer." I love that template of theirs; wish I could see it, sad face.

Thankfully, Matt knows that some of us are more night owls than early birds, and he went on the Late Show With David Letterman to share his hilarious top 10 travel tips. That Matt, what a funny, funny guy. Here's his hysterical list:

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10 -- Get drunk before your flight. Airplane booze is expensive.

9 -- Try Greece, where the current exchange rate is one U.S. dollar equals all of their money.

8 -- If you enjoy solitude, you may want to try New York City's Ed Sullivan Theater.

7 -- Foreigners do not like it when you call them "Pappy."

6 -- You need a souvenir, you grab an extra suitcase from that baggage carousel.

5 -- Try hiking on the Iran/Iraq border.

4 -- When smuggling wildlife, remember: Lizard in your shirt, monkey in your pants.

3 -- If you're in Florence and you want a great meal, you cannot beat the Olive Garden.

2 -- Honeymooning with Kim Kardashian? Get a refundable ticket.

1 -- Never look at your hotel room under a black light.

Man, this list just makes me love Matt even more. I know he probably didn't come up with these tips, but the fact that he has a good sense of humor about them makes me think he'd be peachy to travel with. Imagine all the real tips he has (though I bet numbers 10 and 1 he takes seriously).

After traveling around the world every year for a decade, you know his advice goes beyond "steal the stupid shampoo bottles." I bet Lauer is a blast to journey with -- he probably knows all the great local restaurants, which diarrhea meds work best, how to filter your own water, and how to sew up a flesh-wound using a shoelace and an earring. He's also likely an expert on how to maximize travel reward points, how to beg for and receive free Wi-Fi, and where the best tanning beds are from Kabul to Odessa.

It's really too bad I had to cut myself off from the show because I could fantasize all day long about what awesome things Lauer does abroad. More specifically, what awesome things he does abroad with a lizard in his shirt and a monkey in his pants.

Watch him on Letterman for yourself!

 

Photo via cbs.com

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