When it comes to rock stars and lawsuits related to their mansions, I expect excitement, scandal, maybe even some gross stories involving groupies and ceiling fans. I don’t expect a neighborhood council wagging its finger over an ugly shed.
Nevertheless, the real estate news in rock-and-roll the other week was that David Gilmour, guitarist for Pink Floyd, has to take down the (perfectly cute-looking) canary yellow "beach hut" where he stores his bicycles because, quite frankly, someone thought it was an eyesore. (You know ... Pink Floyd, as in the ones who sang those rich "One of My Turns" lyrics, “Run to the bedroom, in the suitcase on the left, you’ll find my favorite axe" while their stand-in destroyed a hotel room in the movie The Wall. An ugly shed? Seriously.)
Sigh. Is this the lamest lawsuit involving a musician and a mansion? Let's take a look at some other rock-house cases and see.
Well, there’s The Edge, guitarist for U2. He wants to build a mansion in Malibu that he says is totally eco-friendly, but the neighborhood still claims is butt ugly. I know. Boring.
Maybe the secret is this: Stop looking at the guitarists who have their instruments to focus on, and start looking at the insane lead singers. Now we’re getting somewhere.
Marilyn Manson was sued by a former bandmate for taking over the band, renaming it so that he was the only one anyone thought of, and using their money in stupid ways – such as decorating a room in his mansion with swastika wall tiles and matching rugs. Keep it classy, Alice Cooper Marilyn Manson!
And ooh, this is just what we were hoping for: The VH1 series Rock of Love and its star, Bret Michaels, are being sued for vandalism because the $9 million mansion rented for the show got totally trashed during its filming. I’m sure that in addition to the holes in the wall, missing doors, and massacred plants, the whole place reeks of douchebag!
I’m sensing a trend here: The better the artist, the flimsier the lawsuit. So what to do? I guess we can either laugh at these silly property court battles and stand by our men (or women) of rock ... or just find new favorite musicians.
What decorating faux pas do you think your favorite band would commit? Name the band and the décor "don’t" in the comments!
Image from Pink Floyd's The Wall via YouTube