Listen, in some ways I can understand being given a flower and thinking, “Ech, I hate this thing.” Seriously, if a guy ever gave me carnations, I think I’d just burst into tears.
But I’d do that on the inside, as they say. I’d get a bad taste in my mouth, but that mouth would still bend its way into a smiley shape, and I would graciously thank the person and hope like hell that he couldn’t tell I was disappointed. This is because I was raised with this crazy thing called “manners.”
The bottom line with the Madonna-loathes-hydrangeas flap making the Internet rounds is this: How do you hate hydrangeas? They’re pretty much the best flower ever. I now have to question every home and design decision the Material Girl has ever made.
Hating hydrangeas vs. dumping Guy Ritchie:
Detesting a magical flower that can change its delicate hue based on the pH in its soil is completely weird and wrong. Divorcing your filmmaker husband who makes edgy, funny, daring fare like Snatch and seems like a great dad is an equally flawed choice. See also: dating A-Rod days after his wife gave birth to their baby, dating Dennis Rodman, marrying that thug Sean Penn, etc.
Hating hydrangeas vs. selling this butt-ugly mural:
At the official Madonna store, you can buy an 8 foot x 8 foot picture of Madonna with a pink-and-black-striped background and nostrils so big you could put LED lights in them to light up that drab couch. Hating the flower whose soft petals morph from green to purple is as idiotic as paying almost $300 to decorate your living room with a ginormous Madonna face.
Hating hydrangeas vs. screwing over your interior designer (who is also your brother): Madonna famously fell out with her brother Christopher, who had decorated her NYC apartment, when she hired him again to redecorate her Beverly Hills mansion. She rejected all his choices, then refused to pay him. Now, I’m just going to say this: Having seen his weirdly formal and uncomfortable-looking interior designs, ditching him as her designer might have been a good call. A better call would have been to not hire him in the first place, knowing his taste isn’t hers (jeez, he’d decorated her homes before), and not going public with this mess, which goes back to that whole good-manners thing.
Can you imagine hating hydrangeas? Or is Madonna's preference reasonable, aside from her rudeness?