dog poopOkay, I'll cop to wishing I could hire a housekeeper every other day. I wish I had a gardener on call, and the occasional driver would make living in Los Angeles a lot less frustrating. But even if I could afford such luxuries, I can guarantee there is one service I would never, ever, never, ever, never use: Poop 911.

Yes, there are people who will come to your house and pick up the dog poop in your yard. For a fee, of course. I mean, I wouldn't pick up someone else's poop for free, would you? But seriously, who are these people that need a stranger to come to their house and pick up feces? Who are they?

I don't know, but I do applaud the Poop 911 folks for their ingenuity. It just goes to show that even the most menial task can be outsourced. Oh, they now offer cat litter box cleaning services as well, for you super lazy people. I mean, the poop is in the same place. It's not even scattered all over the yard. How hard is it to put your scoop in the gravel and throw that in the trash? Really.

I worry about people who hire others to do every single thing in their lives. I mean, what are they going to do when a zit needs popping? Oh, right, call the dermatologist. But what about when their kids need tucking in? Nanny. Paper brought in? Trash taken out? Plants watered? Housekeeper, housekeeper, housekeeper. Sigh. Okay, I guess there really is a job you can hire out for every single thing you need to do in your home and life.

In that case, I'm offering an email service. Need a note written to your obnoxious neighbor? The local newspaper? Starting at 50 cents a word, I'm your gal. What? Clearly people need help out there.

Would you hire someone to clean up the poop in your yard?


Image via PeterGriffen/Flickr