Why My Perfect Toilet Paper Keeps Me Sane

53

silverware drawerYesterday, I needed a rubber band. Knowing I’d stashed a few in our silverware drawer, I reached for them and found ... nothing. “Why do you hate rubber bands??” I texted my husband.

He walked in from the other room. “I don’t want the silverware drawer to become a junk repository,” he told me.

“This kitchen looks like a hurricane hit it, and that’s what you get fussy about?” I asked.

He fixed me with that look. “You don’t have a rubber band to stand on.”

He’s right. When it comes to ridiculous little details that Must Be Just So in the middle of the chaos that is our home, well, I’m the duchess of dork. Here’s what I mean:

I may not care if there are rubber bands in the silverware drawer, but woe betide you if you don’t stack the flatware as noted above. (This is one my husband came up with, and it’s a testament to the strength of our shared neuroses that I immediately adopted it.) Oh no! I just noticed the knives are facing different ways! Be right back ...

Our dresser is a mass of reading material, but I don’t mind it if the smaller pieces are stacked on top of the larger pieces. My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t even notice if a big floppy magazine is on top of a little paperback. THE PAIN! MY EYES!

There are an estimated 20 toys in the living room that beep, sing, or light up (sometimes all three). None of this bothers me. But I can’t stand the sound of commercials on the TV, and mute them immediately.

I cannot sleep in a bed that hasn’t been made, including the sheets facing the right way. Sometimes I make the bed just so I can get into it.

Toilet paper must go over the top. Funny thing is, it used to have to go the other way (I liked seeing the whole roll with the end making a surprise appearance from beneath) until I had a cleaning lady who made little hotel-style triangles on the top of the roll. She changed my life, man.

I’ll accept wearing unmatched socks only if they’re the same type of sock. They may not look the same, but they must feel the same. Example:


socks
My fingernails are allowed to be raggedy. My toenails are not.

I like to hang the diaper bag on the front doorknob so I can fill it with stuff easily as I stroll past. My husband cannot abide ANYTHING hung on ANY doorknob, which means he’ll rip the drying bibs off the kitchen cabinets and neatly pile them toss them in a pile on the kitchen table.

When I’m done with the shower, I have to hang the rug on the side of the tub, the rubber mat gets stuck on the wall so it doesn’t mildew, and the curtain has to be pulled straight so the tree looks like it’s growing out of the mat. Please note: the rest of the bathroom is a TSW -- total stinking wreck.

Do you cherish tiny touches of organization in a sea of disorder? What’s your teeny-weeny moment of Zen? Tell us in the comments!

clutter buster, home life, nesting, organizing

53 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

Drives me nuts when my husband leaves cubbords or drawers of any kind open. When they r left open it only makes the room look worse from the tornado of life. I also like the bed to be made before I go to bed. A reason I can't stand going to bed after my husband, he doesn't care and is often laying on top of the blanket that I want in the right direction.

ceciliam ceciliam

I need orginization in general.

DomsM... DomsMama07

I have to have everything organized or I go crazy!!

kaylaird kaylaird

The comforter MUST be facing the correct way! I feel WRONG if the vertical bamboo stripes print is horizontal!


Human shampoos and body washes MUST go on one side of the tub, and dog shampoos and grooming supplies MUST go on the other side. If they get mixed up, I see red.


There are more, but it stresses me out thinking of them, haha!

Kimberly Virga

We sound like long lost twins or something! Hilarious! I was laughing my ass off reading this, because I do the same things.. I cannot sleep in unmade beds, I have made it at midnight just to get into it and fall asleep three minutes later, I ALWAYS put the rug over the tub, ALWAYS pull the shower curtain all the way across when I am done to prevent mold, and my husband never does, he FREAKS out when I do things like stack books neatly on my side table but will take empty packages and boxes and crap and just let them accumulate on top of the fridge. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! lol

karis... karischub

My bookshelves, towel closet and my daughter's dresser must be organized. The spice cabinet is also a must havew. My kitchen is crazy but my kitchenaid is spotless...

Sherr... SherriPie

I cannot stand if there is a cap open on something, like the shampoo bottle or dish soap bottle.

Sherr... SherriPie

Must make the bed everyday.

mommy... mommythree0508

I can focus on cleaning one little small area til it's spotless while the rest of the houes falls apart lol.

1-10 of 53 comments 12345 Last