Would You Sublet Your Apartment to a Heathen?

Nicole Fabian-Weber

houseAside from widespread panic, the Rapture brought along a lot of funny things. We all know about the guy offering to care for chosen ones' pets while they were "away." And everybody read about people holding or attending Rapture Parties. Did you hear the one about the guy in Brooklyn who took out a Craigslist ad, though?

A sinful man looking to capitalize on the all the open real estate in New York after the Rapture put up a crazy ad on Craigslist. It's terribly funny, but it also makes you think.

The resourceful real estate hunter -- who you should know was looking in Brooklyn, not Manhattan -- promises to watch over your place while you're "gone" in exchange for a phat crib to chill at. Some of the highlights:

From what I understand, this Saturday all True Believers will ascend to a sort of holding area where they will remain until Heaven on Earth can be achieved. As someone who will not be saved I'm looking to make the most of my remaining time here. If YOU'RE someone who WILL be saved and you live in a higher end apartment in one of the more desirable neighborhoods in Brooklyn I'd be interested in subletting until your return.

The poster continues on with his list of desierables in an apartment and concludes with, "Please, no studios."

Ha-ha, funny, but this raises an interesting point. If there was a Rapture, and you were lucky enough to be sucked up into the heavens, who would you want staying at your place? I mean, you wouldn't want it to go completely unlived in the entire time -- who knows how long you would be gone? But you also don't want to return to a complete and totally pigsty. But what if your really evil friends are the neat ones, and the sort-of-evil ones are the slobs? Holy quandary.

I may be in the minority here, but I'm going with the evil, neat ones -- which probably would shorten my stay at Hotel Heaven, but who cares? There's nothing worse than a messy houseguest.

Oh, don't look at me like that. We've all had 'em. They park themselves on the couch and watch some college sports game while The Bachelorette is on. They eat all the organic potato chips you bought them, even though it was partially for you, too, as they don't care about organic stuff. They leave globs of their thick, dark hair in the tub. And God forbid they ever refill the toilet paper! Ughhhh!!!

Okay, maybe I have issues. Perhaps I've had a poor experience or two in my day with houseguests. Who cares? The point is moot, as the Rapture never happened anyway. And even if it did, I probably would have stayed right here on Earth.

What's your least favorite houseguest habit?


Image via james.thompson/Flickr

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