My Father’s Day Gift Is The Poop

Heather Chaet

elephant dung gardeningMy dad, aka The Colonel, is a gardener. He loves his yard, putters about in his shorts, and dons a Rambo-esque bandanna so the sweat doesn't get onto his trifocals. But when The Colonel has a brown spot in the yard, where nothing seems to grow, he'll launch an all-out war on it. Yup, my dad loves to garden and, with Father's Day coming up, I am thinking of getting him some elephant dung!

Dung, you know, elephant excrement, my friends. The zoo over in Prague is selling ice cream containers full of pachyderm poop. I don't think many apartment dwellers, with windowsill herb gardens, will be using the aromatic gardening aid, but The Colonel has a few acres to tend to ... methinks this could be the perfect gift!

Apparently, it is all the rage, the zoo is selling out of it, and the man behind this new, usable souvenir is the zoo director who, by his name alone, knows a bit about "natural fertilizer."

It's the latest fad among Czech gardeners who are buying out the manure pails to use as fertilizer. The brain behind the project is zoo director Miroslav Bobek, whose surname literally means dung.

Okay, so I doubt I can get The Prague Zoo to ship some crap (literally) to The Colonel here in the U.S. ... plus I am kinda shocked the zoo officials are having people pay for poop. I mean, aren't they doing the zoo a favor by taking the guano in the first place?

So, how can I get The Colonel some special Daddy Day dung? I am thinking of hitting up the local zoos here and ask for some free tiger turds or panda plops or koala ca-ca. At least this way, I'm just paying to ship the sh--, er, special soil to my dad. Nothing says Happy Father's Day like a pile of crap, I say!

Would you use elephant dung in your garden? Would you pay for it?


Image via Jason Pratt/Flickr

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