Time Travel Banned! Here's What WON'T Be Happening

April Peveteaux
11

time travel bannedLeave it to an oppressive regime to ban something that isn't actually real. But that is, indeed, what happened in China when the government banned time travel in the media because the stories "lack positive thoughts and meaning." Clearly they never got Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure over there.

Going forward, Chinese television shows or movies may not feature time travel because shows that involve time travel “casually make up myths, have monstrous and weird plots, use absurd tactics, and even promote feudalism, superstition, fatalism, and reincarnation.” Which is a bad thing?

So we can only assume that, if someone actually did manage to get that time machine working in China, the government would ban that too. So much for China being our main competition in innovation. You're being short-sighted here, China! As a time travel ban would mean the following things would never, ever, happen:

  • Going back to 1889 and smothering a baby Hitler.
  • Taking an HD video recorder to Roswell, New Mexico circa summer 1947.
  • Convincing President Clinton that the 1995 government shutdown should mean all interns have to take a leave of absence.
  • Telling your 12-year-old self that you're really not going to care about that bitch, Sally Johnson, in six short years.
  • Buying tickets to Our American Cousin on April 14, 1865 and taking a bullet for President Lincoln.
  • Giving your college-aged self that reminder about birth control.
  • Making sure your parents meet at "The Enchantment Under the Sea" dance.

Damn it! Someone needs to make sure we never ban time travel in America. There's so much good to be done.

What do you think about this time travel ban in China?

 

Image via YouTube

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