gwyneth paltrow dinner party
You don't really think you're invited, do you?
For those of you who long to be GOOP'd, the fantastic news is that Gwyneth is offering you even more opportunities to live just like the actress/singer/reality show host/chef/mom does. 

Oh, Gwyn, you're such an easy target. But at least this time, the kitchen and dining goods you're hawking, alongside your new cookbook, My Father's Daughter, are affordable. The presentation, however, is still very, very Gwyneth. As in, you find yourself wanting to pull out your credit card with one hand while smacking the real-life Barbie doll with the other.

Check out the most passive-aggressive dinnerware ad campaign of all time.

gwyneth paltrow dinner partyFirst of all, the only name tag propped against a glass is for Gwyn. We know who you are, and that you're the most important person at the table. No need to remind us in calligraphy. And thanks for pointing out that our place card holders are gauche.

gwyneth paltrow dinner partyYou mean you just tell the guests what they're eating? And you don't own a chalkboard? Oh, you poor little Rachael Ray.

gwyneth paltrow dinner partyYour salt shakers are crappy, and your plain old white sea salt is pedestrian.

gwyneth paltrow dinner partyBecause only savages have hot homes, Gwyneth keeps her abode at a cool 65 degrees (18 degrees Celsius) at all times. Naturally, she compensates by throwing a blanket over her guests.

gwyneth paltrow dinner partyOh? You'd like to buy these items that make up the perfect place setting? Too bad for you, plebe, as everything (except those bowls that hold the pink salt) is practically sold out. Yes, it's because Gwyn told her cool friends first, and you are not even six degrees from that inside circle. Better luck next time!

What do you think of Gwyneth's dinner party?

 

Images via One Kings Lane