Shopping Extends Life? That’s a Load of Crap!

forever 21Retail therapy isn't exactly "therapy" to me. In fact, after a day of heavy shopping, I often feel like I need another form of therapy -- massage therapy, psychotherapy, even art therapy! And it's not because I don't love stuff -- clothes especially -- I love stuff and clothes! I just always feel guilty after dropping tons of cash -- usually cash that I don't have -- on stuff that's so ... superficial. 

That's why I kind of disagree with this new study that says shopping can extend our lifespans. Perhaps they forgot to carry the one somewhere in their mathematical conclusions, because I actually think shopping does exactly the opposite. At least, for me.


Allow me to set the scene for you. Picture an obnoxious, crowded store of the cheap(ish) variety. Your Forever 21s, your H&Ms, your Zaras. Inside, the music is pumping, further increasing my desire to buy stuff. Yeah, I think, as I hear Nicki Minaj. I feel like going out this weekend and I need new clothes for it! I grab hanger after hanger of off-the-shoulder tops and high-waisted jeans I'll never wear. I head into the dressing room and that's when it starts. Panic begins to set in. What am I doing? I think. I don't have the money for this crap. I should just put it all back and go home to my dog. What kind of owner am I? But, what if I go out this weekend? I won't have anything to wear. Ugh, I should just buy a few things and get the hell out! In line for the register, my breathing gets shallow. My husband would never spend our money this way. I'm a crappy wife. Ooh, I like those earrings -- no!

It's awful. I feel tense and stressed about my shopping until I'm actually out with the off-the-shoulder top on and two drinks in. It's not a form of relaxation for me at all. It's a sick, sick habit that I don't think I'll ever be able to break.

So, when I hear things like "there's this new study that says shopping will extend our lives," the only thing I can think is bull s**t. Who sponsored it, Urban Outfitters? Shopping has easily shaved a solid five years from my life. But, then again, as long as I have cute clothes when I'm alive, who cares, right?

Do you believe shopping can extend our lives?


Image via paul posadas/Flickr

Read More >