Earth Hour Is Looming! 6 Dark Ways to Waste the 60 Minutes

Nicole Fabian-Weber

earth hourEarth Hour? Perhaps I am sheltered, but I have never heard of this one. Apparently, this Saturday, March 26, between the hours of 8:30 and 9:30 p.m., we are all supposed to turn off our non-essential lights and electrical appliances in order to raise awareness on climate change. Hence, Earth Hour.

I mean, I've heard of Earth Day, and I've heard of Earth Month, but never Earth Hour. So, am I missing anything? Is there an Earth Minute I don't know about? If not, I may propose one to the government. Or at least to Whole Foods. It will be on September 4, and from 2:17 a.m. to 2:18 a.m. we must all hug the neighbor to the left of us while listening to our favorite Justin Bieber song. Hey, it's my holiday.

Seriously, though. Earth Hour seems like a little much to me. Especially since my house has about six hours of "earth" each night between midnight and 6:00 a.m. And what's up with it being on a Saturday night at 8:30? That seems like a terrible time for Earth Hour. I would hate to be at Chipotle a fancy restaurant and have the lights go out. Or what if I'm in the middle of seeing Hall Pass The King's Speech and the theater goes dark?

Anyway, call me a bad environmentalist, but I highly doubt I'm going to participate in this one. If I do, though, I won't be getting all serious and pensive with my lack of technology, I'm going to do something fun!

Here are some ways I've come up with to spend Earth Hour:

  • Get wasted. That's all. Nothin' fancy. Just good ol' fashioned super drunk. Crying and falling and all.
  • Read. By candlelight. I will feel so civilized and Victorian reading by candlelight. Of course, once Earth Hour is over, I will put out my candle with a snuffer.
  • Get busy with my husband. I'm going to stop here in case my father is reading this.
  • Take up knitting. But only for one hour. If I don't have a scarf by then, I'm over it.
  • Talk with friends. In person since it's Earth Hour and all. Does anyone even do that anymore?
  • Text a few people to see if they're ditching Earth Hour also.

What other fun ways are there to spend Earth Hour?


Image via Jiaren Lau/Flicker

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