Real Estate Listings From Hell (PHOTOS)

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real estate listings from hell
You didn't actually want to SEE the house, did you?
It's a tough real estate market out there. You can't get your asking price, buyers are ruling the day with those choice interest rates, and they have the power to be super duper picky.

Our real estate agent threatened us within an inch of our commission points to clean up our apartment so we could unload it on a weak market. In addition to renting a storage space for half of our stuff, every week we loaded up the kids, along with their two tons of toys, and drove far away, hid the family photos, and waited for a buyer to imagine themselves living in our comfy two bedroom, one bath.

These folks, however, could really give a shit whether or not you like their places. In fact, they might as well trot out five cats and an incontinent cocker spaniel at these open houses, because they're just screaming, "Don't buy me! You WILL find unpleasant things that you'd rather not."

Take a gander:

real estate listings from hellIf cabinet space isn't something you need, especially in the kitchen, you're going to love this opportunity to showcase all of your beat-to-crap cookware! Also, no space for the trash can under the sink. And it's not AT ALL because we're keeping dead squirrels in there instead.

real estate listings from hellOh, the owner? He's this brilliant, but temperamental, art- ahhhhhhh! Dammit, that's the fifth glass cut I've gotten today! Remind me not to wear my open-toe pumps to the next open house, will you?

real estate listings from hellThe bathroom is designed for those who really value their alone time. Like, so much so that they can run their entire life from the can. See how cushiony the toilet seat is? That's on purpose.

real estate listings from hellWell, it's not a foreclosure situation per se. I mean, not unless you count not being able to pay your mortgage due to lifetime imprisonment for serial killing.

 

real estate listings from hellThe two-for-one deal of buying a house with a used car lot included sounds great! And then you go house shopping when you haven't been drinking.

Would you buy any of these houses?

 

Images via Trulia

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angev... angevil53

to me, by far, was the dirty kitchen. i can't stand a dirty kitchen and believe it or not but i have seen worse than these while house hunting. a couple with three kids all in diapers. she was a sahm and you couldn't open any door in the house all the way bc of the PILE of junk, clothes, dirty diapers, old bottles/trash that was in the way. it was disgusting! i didn't even finish the look-see bc the smell was so bad. our realtor was beyond pissed bc it was in the top of our price range, later he said he dropped them bc they couldn't keep it clean.

nonmember avatar Christine

I'll be the first to admit, I don't usually have a clean house, sanitary, yes, clean, no.......BUT.... I CAN and DO clean it when others our coming over, such as this weekend for my daughter's birthday party. When we bought our house we sort of knew the current owner. She admitted to shoving stuff in boxes and putting them out in the garage. We knew what a two car garage looked like so no big deal. Yes, the carpets were (and still are) quite dirty. She had an ~10 year old son and two cats, we have a 5 year old daughter and two cats....the carpets get dirty and we do not have the money to replace them. Side note ~~ would help if the builders had not used the cheapest carpet and padding possible!! So our carpets are sanitary, as in steam cleaned, but they are very stained. We will get new carpet when we can afford it, until then, rugs cover the worst of it when company is over.

Ellie Lewis


It is fantastic time to refinance home mortgage. As Clark Howard says it is very tough to find these low rates for long time. Search online for 123 Mortgage Refi they found me THE lowest possible rate.

Addys... Addys_Mom

Wow my house looks kinda like that but mostly cause we are in the middle of a huge remodel to get our house in good enough condition to sell. Halfway through the bathroom now. Once it is all done everything that we dont ABSOLUTELY need is going into storage so it will be a lot less upkeep when potential buyers come. who could possibly think that a house would sell like that??

The_B... The_Baby_Mama

Wow, this makes me feel so much better about my house - it is supremely clean and tidy compared to this.  Gotta show hubby these pics...

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