If you haven’t already heard, today is Working Naked Day. Awesome! Right?
Well, assuming that you work at home. There are some obvious advantages: no bra means breastfeeding is a snap, no pants means no worrying about VPL (visible panty line).
But come on! How dumb is this idea?? Naked? Unless you’re a nudist, you don’t walk around naked at home, let alone work naked. Pajamas, maybe, but not naked. And it hasn’t taken moms into account at all – seriously, who among us wants to spend all days with our boobs hanging out. That just means the kids think the breakfast bar is an all-day affair.
Imagine glancing down to type something and getting an eyeful of stretch-marked belly. Your nips are standing at full attention because it’s freaking winter – and you’re lactating, so it hurts. Let’s not even think about the leakage. Curl your leg under you and oops! There’s that cellulite, staring you smack in the face. I’ll take VPL over facing my own cellulite any day.
And horror of horrors – what happens if your boss pops onto Skype for a quick meeting? Hopefully you don’t have auto-connect set up. You can’t answer the door and you’ll have to close all the blinds and work in the dark all day. How is this in any way a fun break from the normal routine?
Okay, so technically Working Naked Day is about all the freelancers and people who work at home not having access to all the niceties of an office: the fax machine, free Post-Its, coffee ready when you arrive. But with a title like that, how can you blame me??
Instead of Working Naked Day, I’d like to propose a few more … practical ideas for working moms, in and out of the office.
Pajama Day – Yep, even to the office. You get a free pass to wear your sweats, yoga pants, sports bra, anything comfy (except a negligee, you can’t do that).
No Makeup Day – I love makeup, I really really do. But by Friday I’m dead sick of dealing with blending foundation. So every Friday should be No Makeup Day – and no one is allowed to tell you that you look tired or ask if you are feeling okay!
Flip-Flop Day – Heels aren’t required for everyday work of course, but even the cutest pair of flats can leave your pinkie toes screaming at the end of the day. So at least once a month there should be a flip-flop day. If it’s winter, you get to wear your Uggs in and switch to flops once you are inside. Space heaters should also be provided for every office.
Breastfeeding at Work Day – No more pumping in the cramped stalls of the bathroom! For one day, you get to bring your baby in to be watched over by a qualified child care expert. You can breastfeed whenever you want, however often you want -- right at your desk!
Bedhead Day – Screw the hairbrush, the curling iron and my archenemy, the straightening iron. On Bedhead Day you get to go to work in the same ponytail you slept in, and everyone will compliment you on your fabulous volume and texture.
What holidays do you think working moms deserve?
Image via Sam Pullara/Flickr