40 Funny Ways to Say 'Mom' on Your Resume

resumeWe all know moms have the hardest and most important job of all. Yet up until now, we'd never dream of actually listing that title on our resume. Did you ever stop to think why not? Right! There is NO good reason why women shouldn't boast that role, and why employers wouldn't be lucky to have us.

After all, moms can do EVERYTHING. Career experts are finally recognizing this and suggesting mothers include their child-raising experience as one of their qualifications for outside employment.

But are you a "domestic manager" or "household engineer"? Many websites offer tips on how to structure your resume to reflect being a full-time mom, like bringing attention to your skills and volunteering. These are all great tips, but in this economy, you really have to sell yourself with an extra-special, attention-getting title.

Here are 40 of our favorite, funny ways to say "mom" that might work for your resume (just don't blame us if you don't get the job):

  1. Household CEO
  2. Masters & PhD in Patience
  3. Familial Law Enforcer
  4. Non-TV Activity Coordinator
  5. English Language Educator
  6. Playground Medic
  7. President of Waste Management
  8. Fast Food Chef
  9. Tantrum & Meltdown Negotiator
  10. Search & Rescue: Small Plastic Pieces Unit
  11. Chief Monster Hunter
  12. College Application Adviser
  13. Doll Doctor
  14. Archaeologist Specializing in Under Bed and Inside Closet Digs
  15. Teen Sex Counselor
  16. Spiritual Leader
  17. Backyard Safety Commissioner
  18. Toy Repair Specialist
  19. Art Critic
  20. Philanthropist for Little People's Arts & Music
  21. Teenage Dating Expert
  22. Chief Drug Counselor
  23. Anger Management Specialist
  24. Toddler Tantrum Wrestling Champ
  25. Playdate Social Secretary
  26. CEO, Department of Make Believe
  27. Manners Expert
  28. Personal Shopper
  29. Fashion Stylist & Consultant
  30. Professor, Imagination Studies
  31. Sleep Scientist (work mostly night shifts)
  32. Teen Angst Psychoanalyst
  33. Captain, Soccer Mom Cheerleading Squad
  34. Dental Hygienist
  35. Tooth Brushing Instructor
  36. Keeper of Top Secret Secrets (pinkie swear!)
  37. Personal Chauffeur & Expert Driver
  38. Hairstylist (specializing in pigtails and wiggly clients)
  39. Birthday Party Planner
  40. President of (Insert Your Kid's Name Here) Fan Club

Of course, putting any of these on your resume will have employers laughing you out the door, but most of these labels for moms make sense to me. Then again, if our world was such that moms could list everything they've become experts in since having kids, their resumes would be at least 10 pages long.

What other funny job titles would you list on your resume?


Image via marshillonline/Flickr

Read More >