Super Bowl 2011 kicks off February 6, and that means plenty of time to stock up on the tackiest football products ever to get ready for your big Super Bowl party. So what if a giant football helmet-shaped bowl full of greasy chips and pretzels and dip doesn't go with your $450 Tambe Espresso Crate & Barrel side table?
To both amuse you and give you heart palpitations at the same time, check out our list of the most hilariously tasteless Super Bowl party-themed products that you hope never grace your threshold. Just make sure that no football fanatic is peering at this list over your shoulder while you do.
Snack Helmet, $50, Amazon.com
A full-size replica helmet with two compartments in the face mask as well as a deep bowl in the helmet would add a touch of flare and personality to any living room. Bonus: The trays are microwavable AND dishwasher-safe! Who says you can't be refined and practical at the same time?
Great American Products New Orleans Saints Tailgate Keg, $26.99, Sears.com
If you want to go the super classy route, all you have to do is purchase a gallon keg that features your favorite team's logo, just like this one. You'll have less bottles and cans to clean up afterward and you'll be able to pull this out at every game next season. You know that this would make one memorable centerpiece.
Tom Brady Cut Out, $99.99, Fathead.com
The one thing that every home needs? A door-sized cutout of Tom Brady sticking out his tongue. All women (and Patriots fans and gay men) are going to be thrilled to learn they can buy their own Tom Brady for less than $100. And how can you argue with a review like this: "I Love It!!!! The best thing I have ever purchased!!! It is absolutely fantastic, I cant believe I even own one, it is so PERFECT, just like the Pats themselves!!!!"
The Go Plate, $19.99 for 21, Amazon.com
You wouldn't even need that Crate & Barrel side table if you buy a bunch of these Go Plates for all your party guests. Your friends and family will be in total awe, and they won't have to put their bottles or cans down to eat their food. Fist pumping for your team with one hand and beer + food in another? Now that's some Super Bowl party heaven.
SC Sports New York Jets Lighted Lawn Figure, $92.99, SportsAuthority.com
Want to show off team spirit and irk your neighbors? Then you'll love this 44-inch lawn figure covered in 150 lights. Yep, you can be that guy or gal, the one who keeps this obnoxious football man lit up all year-round, regardless of your team's record or if it's the off-season.
Beer of Mug Blooms, $29.99, 1800Flowers.com
Of course, you'll want to class up your Super Bowl party by buying some fresh flowers for the big day. And what better way to keep them fresh than by sticking them in a mug full of delicious, cold beer. Duh, it's not real beer, but that definitely won't stop your drunken party-goers from trying to drink it.
Wildon Home Football Chair With Ottoman, $239, Walmart.com
All your rowdy guests need a place to sit during halftime, right? Then visit your local Walmart (or go to the website) to buy this football-shaped chair AND pretty matching ottoman to complement your Super Bowl themed decor. Although someone ought to invent a football-shaped chair with a cupholder or two. Just a thought. Where else are you going to put that Go Plate?
Fanmats Atlanta Falcons Rug, $149,99, NFLShop.com
There's no need to leave any doubt as to which team you're cheering for right when your friends and family walk in the door. Buy this insanely large team-themed carpet to silence any doubters. It'll give your football fanatic a nice place to stomp around and spill their beer if the other team wins the big game.
Pittsburgh Steelers Koozie, $3.99, Amazon.com
These cute koozies will keep your hands warm and give your beer bottle a little bit of style too. So even though they're not that practical and you still need to put your beer on some sort of coaster, at least your beer will be representing your favorite team by donning a teeny tiny jersey, just like the one you're wearing!
ProToast Chicago Bears Toaster, $34.99, BestBuy.com
There's no better way to start off Super Bowl Sunday than having a delicious slice of toast emblazoned with your team's logo burnt in your toaster that's emblazoned with your team's logo. Yes, this toaster can brand your toast, waffles, or English muffins with a logo of your choosing, and it has a removable crumb tray for added convenience. It'd bring a tear to any NFL-loving fan's glazed-over-from-staring-down-the-screen eye.
Do you or anyone you know own some really tacky football-themed stuff?