The Internet loves a good hoax, but finally the attempts to kill off an American institution could provide a reprieve for the rest of us. According to the interwebs -- and a text message forward -- there's anthrax in Tide washing detergent!
Well, not really say the folks with Proctor and Gamble, but if you've already screwed up on five of your new year's resolutions, our advice is to completely ignore what their PR folks have to say. Perpetuating this myth could go help you save face when your BFF comes over and finds your house a mess, and tries to remind you, "I thought you were getting organized in 2011?"
All you have to tell them is you are on a powdered laundry detergent strike -- for the good of your entire family. Like any good hoax, it has the air of plausibility. Remember how announcements of Aretha Franklin's death almost got us last month, as they came on the heels of her announcements that she had cancer? Meanwhile news that Justin Bieber has died just makes us roll our eyes and say, "Oh Baby."
Everything we learned after the anthrax scares of 2001 taught us it's a white powder -- just like your favorite powdered detergent. And it can survive in letters mailed to Congress members, so why not a sample packet of Tide? Not to mention, the most common anthrax infection is "cutaneous," which means you'd have to have skin-to-anthrax contact. What better way to spread it than through your laundry?
You have all the means to put up a convincing argument ... and never have to fight with another fitted sheet out of the dryer again. It's a perfect cover for your slovenly ways!
All kidding aside, if you are still taking his hoax seriously, here's a bit of news to calm you down. The official word on the Tide "Get Satisfaction site" comes from Mandy Earnshaw, a Tide employee:
I work for the Tide brand, I can 100% confirm that the text message going around is not true. From time to time people do this kind of thing as a prank, unfortunately there is little we can do other than to share the fact that this is completely unfounded.
If you are concerned or want further reassurance please contact our Consumer Relations team on: 1-800-879-8433.
Would you like an excuse to get out of laundry duty?
Image via Tide