Now Glenn Beck Is Telling Us How to Clean Our Homes

Megan Van Schaick

glenn beckHe rambles. Oh, how he rambles. He incites people (not to be confused with "insight"). He infuriates many and intimidates none. Glenn Beck has a never-ending stream of tirades on everything from civil liberties to Sarah Palin.

And now he’s after your clutter.

That’s right, your clutter. It seems Glennie-boy has finally run out of things to say. Or, nope, no, he’s still saying plenty on that TV show of his ... it's just about the clutter in your house.

But first he has to scare you, like any good right winger.

On a recent episode of his program, Glenn actually had the nerve to compare a cluttered house with ... get this -- being a victim of Katrina. In Glenn’s world, there were two kinds of people stricken by Katrina: There were those who had the good common sense to leave the city, and those who stayed behind with the precious sign-making supplies they had. I mean, really, who would leave something that precious behind?

Glenn implies that they stored away those supplies just in case of a hurricane. Because they wanted to make signs and stand on their roofs for two weeks with no water and no food waiting for someone to rescue them.

How silly of them! Don’t they know that clutter like that won’t rescue anybody? They should have downsized, the way Glenn wanted them to. If only they had joined his quest to downsize America's clutter, they could have escaped the storm!

Now, Glenn makes one good point, I will cede him that. We all have too much clutter, and we should attempt to downsize. Clutter won't save our lives in case of an emergency. Our lives aren't any better because the closet is stuffed to the brim.

How should we downsize, then? According to Glenn, we all have roughly $12,000 worth of stuff in our homes that we don't need or use. (That's a bit of a stretch, I'd say.) He wants you to sell $5,000 worth of that stuff and put the money towards bills and debt and, oh yeah, the Tea Party!

Five thousand dollars?? Glenn, my couch was free, and those spray paint cans are half used. Anyone who has that much stuff probably doesn't need that five grand. So you, my friend, can take this quest and shove it right up your ... you know. When I get some clutter that will pay my bills, I'll give you a call.

Is Glenn Beck right about Katrina and clutter?

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